


The Only Exception

by Merlins_Lancelot



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Lesbian Character, Multi, Slow Build, Slow Burn, asexual character (kind of), homoromantic character, waiting until marriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-23 13:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3769444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlins_Lancelot/pseuds/Merlins_Lancelot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin is a homoromantic, asexual tech wizard who suddenly wants to experience a romantic and sexual relationship with young Lancelot.  </p>
<p>Roxy is the only female at the Table, with the fact that she is gay only adding to how out of place she feels. Things become more complicated when she realizes her feelings for Merlin go beyond what she normally experiences with men. </p>
<p>When they finally come together and realize that they are the exception to the rule for each other, will things go smoothly or will they realize that being the exception isn't enough?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. RIP You and Me

It was time to dump Amelia, Roxy decided as she stared enviously across the room. The object (or objects really to be correct) of her jealousy were Eggsy and Janelle, being nauseatingly adorable. Eggsy had been taken with Janelle ever since Merlin had challenged them with picking her up at the bar before they were all tied to the train tracks, but the relationship officially began when they had tried to send Eggsy on a “mission” to track down a Princess. The “mission” was a poor cover for his surprise birthday party, the attempt made even more pathetic by Percival choosing the only one of Kingsman’s many actresses that Eggsy had met during his training to play the mark. Ironically, even though that time was so challenging for both of them, Eggsy and Roxy had both taken up with people from their initiation days, and for a time, Roxy was happy with Amelia. But now, she felt empty. Her relationship that hadn’t brought her physical fulfillment in weeks, was now ceasing to emotionally satisfy her. So she was jealous of Eggsy and Janelle, especially with Eggsy and Harry talking in low voices together, undoubtedly deciding which ring would look best on her. Janelle seemed to notice something was off, and came over to sit with her.

            “I hope you don’t want to be alone with your thoughts, because you look like you have a lot to say,” she said softly and Roxy tried to smile.

            “I do. Just…not to anyone who is here.”

            “Ahh. Things not going well with Amelia?” Janelle rubbed her back sympathetically, and Roxy leaned in to the comforting touch.

            “Not at all. I think it might be time to end it.”

            “Well, that depends, do you still love her?”

            “I don’t know that I ever did,” Roxy answers, her voice sounding more casual than she would have liked.

            “Well, then. Go let her down easy, and then find someone who puts a light in your eyes,” Janelle advised and Roxy laughed.

            “Your eyes are brighter than the sun these days,” she teased, and Janelle blushed, looking over at Eggsy and Harry.

            “He makes me so happy. I really hope you find someone like that, Roxy, I do. Honestly, the only person more lonely than you here, is Merlin,” she said softly, and Roxy straightened her posture.

            “Where is he? This is supposed to be a celebration. It’s Harry’s one year anniversary of being back from the dead,” she grinned, but continued to glance around for the tech wizard.

            “Beats me. I’m going to go see what those silly boys are up to,” and Janelle was gone, prompting Eggsy and Harry to change the subject immediately as she settled herself in Eggsy’s lap.

Where was Merlin, though? Roxy chastised herself for her level of concern, but she still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. But on the other hand, if something was amiss, she would be the one to know about it. Of course Eggsy was like her brother, but she and Merlin had formed this connection that she couldn’t explain. He had never really been the talkative type, of course he was witty and enjoyed conversation with the agents, but he never seemed to reveal anything about himself, and never seemed to have anyone to confide in on the random days where his eyes were a bit sad, and his smile didn’t come so easily. The only thing he had ever told her was that he was experiencing the “mean reds,” a reference to her favorite movie, and a small clue as to what he was feeling. But it was her that he had told, and from then onward, when Merlin needed someone, Roxy was there. It was a quiet friendship, one that she enjoyed, especially when she could make him smile. Maybe she should go find him and see if he could return the favor.

She left the party room, making a quiet exit that no one noticed, and headed in the direction of Merlin’s study. She knocked lightly on the door, and opened it when she got no answer. He was not there, so she tried the Table. Empty. Last resort was The Shop, and she managed to sneak up on him while he restocked the gadgets in dressing room 2.

            “You snuck off,” she said quietly, and he rolled his eyes.

            “I’m working. Seem to be the only one around here who bloody does,” he mumbled, and she returned an equally epic eyeroll.

            “You can try that bullshit with anyone but me. What’s bothering you?” she asked timidly and he gave her a tight smile.

            “Nothing I can’t handle, lass. Don’t you worry.”

            “If you say so,” she snarked quietly and layed herself down on the couch in the corner.

            “What about you? You seem to have a heavy weight on your shoulders,” he stopped working and sat beside her.

            “I’m breaking up with Amelia,” she confessed, and cursed herself. She hadn’t meant to show her hand that easily.

            “Oh? What’s the problem, if I may?” his Scottish dialect was suddenly thicker than ever, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

            “It’s just, not working. I mean, I could be content to stay in a relationship where I felt nothing, if I was normal. But I’m not,” she said, fighting the urge to cover her face.

            “Roxy, what is this _not normal_ nonsense?”

            “I’m the only female in Kingsman, and I happen to like girls. And this particular girl isn’t worth how much of a freak I am,” she almost whispered.

            “Roxy,” he sighed and pulled her in close to him. “You aren’t a freak. You want to be in a loving relationship, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And by the way, as for you being the only female operative,” he pulled back from embracing her to look her straight in the eye. “You are my favorite, so don’t worry about being the only girl,” he said sweetly and she laughed.

            “Alright, I think I can live with that,” she sighed contentedly.  “I just hate feeling like a freak,” she felt her cheeks getting warm and knew she was turning pink. She couldn’t help it. It was embarrassing.

            “Roxy, I assure you, you are far from the most abnormal person here. I promise.” His tone was removed suddenly, and she looked at him.

            “What do you mean Merlin?” she asked and he shook his head.

            “Nothing, lass. Nothing at all. Go back to the party,” he said, and she shook her head.

            “Nope, gotta go break some hearts. Well, one heart, specifically. But, hey, I will see you tomorrow, alright?”

            “Tomorrow is Saturday. You don’t have office work on Saturday, and we don’t have any missions lined up for another week or so,” he reminded her and she nudged him lightly.

            “Tomorrow I’m making dinner, remember? I got all that stuff to make fancy dinner for me and Amelia to rekindle the magic, but seeing as I’m ending things tonight, you’re stuck keeping me company.”

            “Of course. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

            “Goodnight Merlin,” she said kindly, and then was gone.

            “Goodnight, Roxy,” he whispered when he knew she would not hear him.


	2. I'm So Lost For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin tells Harry what is on his mind, and things get kind of complicated. Also, some of you may be already noticing a trend, but I'm using songs and song lyrics to write the chapter titles, eventually if you guys want me to, I will put together a playlist of everything.

            “Did Roxy find you last night?” Harry asked, trying to keep his voice even, but failing.

            “She did. Why do you ask?”

            “Well, I thought maybe you’d be in a better mood after speaking with her, she usually has that affect on you,” his friend observed.

            “Not this time.”

            “My god, you didn’t tell her did you?” Harry was scandalized, for some reason. Honestly, Merlin thought, Harry should have sounded more surprised if he had told her.

            “Did you think I was going to? She would despise me,” he spat out through clenched teeth. Why couldn’t Harry understand?”

            “I think it’s been well established that she won’t judge you for being different, really, you must get a grip on yourself,” Harry scolded him gently.

            “I can understand why she feels different, but this..this is unheard of. This is a statistic. _I am a statistic_ ,” he groaned unhappily, and Harry gives him his trademark half smile.

            “How hard can it be, really? Practice on me, or better yet, just tell her like you told me.”

            “I told you I was an asexual homoromantic.”

            “Quite right you did, darling, and remember how horrified I was,” Harry said dryly, his sarcasm never failing him even at Merlin’s expense.

            “Right well, my coming out to you wasn’t accompanied by a most inconvenient confession,” Merlin sighed and Harry’s amusement seemed to fade.

            “Well, yes there is that.”

            “How do I tell her she is the exception to every rule? How do I explain to her that I am a man who is simultaneously gay and does not want to have sex, who suddenly just so happens to be in love and wanting to have sexual relations with her? How, Harry?” Merlin was frantic and Harry had to breathe deeply with him and make him a cup of tea to calm his nerves.

            “If it helps, Merlin, I think she feels the same way about you.”

            “She’s gay, Harry. Apparently I just love gays,” Merlin tried to be funny, but it just sounded sad.

            “Well that may be true, but I have never been one to put a label on love, and trust me there is nothing short of love in that girl’s eyes when she looks your way.”

            “Harry…” Merlin’s tone was a warning, lest Harry allow him to get his hopes too high only to be crushed, but Harry presses on.

            “And she turns this adorable shade of pink when she looks at you and finds you already staring at her. Which you do a lot, my friend, so much staring. You should really control yourself, at least during briefings. If only for mine and Eggsy’s sake, its making us ill,” Harry teased and Merlin resists the urge to hit him.

            “Right, so sorry my emotionally compromised state is such a problem for you and your BFF, or whatever they say now.”

            “You know, you don’t have to try so hard as that to get her to like you. In fact, I’d wager she’d be far more impressed with your efforts if you didn’t use words like BFF or LOL.”

            “You’re probably right. What do I do Harry?”

            “Tell her how you feel. Nothing can happen until you at least do that.”

            “Right. Easier said than done, but nothing I didn’t already know.”

            “You’ll be fine, Merlin,” Harry assured him, but Merlin just looked up at him helplessly.

            “These new recruits, Harry. What have they done to us? I’m head over heels, for the first time in years, you acquired a stray then came back from the dead, and now said stray goes by Galahad and lives with you. What have they done to us?” Merlin asked, bewildered, and Harry grinned.

            “Eggsy isn’t a stray, he’s my best friend, for the record. And to answer your question, old friend, they turned our world upside down. And aren’t you glad they did?”

            “More than you’ll ever know. Thanks Harry,” Merlin said gruffly and walked off to go sleep in his study.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my goal with this fic was NOT to offend anyone, I promise, this part of his character was actually taken from a prompt I saw in the ship tag and I was drawn to it. My intention is NOT to belittle those who identify this way, and I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings or made anyone uncomfortable.


	3. Ain't No Use To Sit And Wonder Why, Babe (If you don't know by now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia has a few ideas as to why Roxy decided to end things, Eggsy and Roxy deal with the aftermath, and Harry has a few thoughts of his own.

“Eggsy, can I come over?”

            “Of course, Roxy, you okay?” His concern was evident through the clear connection provided by the glasses.

            “I don’t know, I just broke up with Amelia, and it got a bit nasty. I’ll explain when I get there, okay? Also, ask Harry if I can stay over,” she pleaded, voice shaking.

            “He’s not my dad, he’s my flatmate. But I’ll ask him if it will set your little mind at ease, Rox. See you soon.”

            “Harry!” Eggsy called out as soon he disconnected his glasses.

            “Eggsy, I’m in the study, no need to shout,” Harry said tiredly and Eggsy burst into the room.

            “Can Roxy come stay the night? She just broke up with Amelia, apparently it got a bit ugly, I want to be there for her.”

            “Eggsy, I appreciate you telling me about the goings on in our home, but you don’t need to ask permission,” he said softly and Eggsy pulled him out of his chair in to a hug. “What,” Harry breathed out a huff of surprise but wrapped his arms around the younger agent.

            “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’m so happy that you’re here. And that I get to live with you.”

            “I’m happy too Eggsy, now you should let me go so you can make those brownies Roxy loves so much. It seems comfort food might be the order of the evening.”

            “Good idea Harry, have a good night bruv!”

            “You too, Eggsy. One suggestion? Ask if he has spoken to Merlin. He usually knows what to say to her,” he said with a sly grin.

            “Will do mate, thanks!” Eggsy thanked him, completely clueless to the plotting behind Harry’s suggestion. Harry wasn’t one for playing matchmaker, he wasn’t even sure that’s what he was doing, but he knew he had to help Merlin. And if Roxy got what she wanted in the process, that was just a bonus for all involved.

 

            “So, I don’t mean to pry, but I would love it if you would tell me what happened, if you could,” Eggsy suggested timidly after Roxy downed her third cup of hot cocoa.

            “Right, I suppose talking could help, and it is why I’m here. So I told her I was ending it,” she began. “And then I told her I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but that I didn’t feel it was going anywhere, and she asked me if it had anything to do with Merlin,” she said, and she refused to look at him.

            “Wait, _what?”_ Eggsy was floored by this question, as Roxy apparently was too.

            “That’s what I said. But she insisted that I am interested in him, apparently, I don’t know what’s going through her mind, but she’s completely off base.”

            “Well, I would assume so Roxy. You like birds, as far as I know. Not that you couldn’t like both, just, well, you’ve never shown interest in both,” Eggsy fumbled, but she smiled at him.

            “You’re quite right, I am not interested in both. So I don’t know why she said that.”

            “Well, have you spoken to Merlin?” Eggsy asked, following Harry’s wise words. “He seems to know how to make you feel better.”

            “I talked to him before I broke up with her, when I saw you with Janelle and realized I needed to. She doesn’t look at me like that,” Roxy finished quietly, and Eggsy pulled her close to him.

            “I’m sorry Rox. I’m so sorry,” he soothed her and the tears finally came. She cried in his arms and he rocked her until she was quiet again, and reaching her the plate of brownies.

            “I want the fairytale, Eggsy. Is that crazy?” she asked tearfully and he ran a hand through her hair.

            “Not at all Roxy. And trust me, you will get your fairytale. Someday. For now, though, let’s go to bed. I have a feeling you’re coming with me to my fitting tomorrow. You should tell Merlin what happened.”

            “He’ll think I’m being silly.”

            “I’m sure he won’t. It wasn’t as though you were the one that brought up an imaginary crush.”

            “That’s true,” she agreed and followed Eggsy upstairs to his room. “When are you going to propose to Janelle?” she asked suddenly, and he raised his eyebrows at her.

            “How on earth would you possibly know that?” he asked, incredulous.

            “Eggsy, we work for the same spy agency remember?”

            “Right. Well, as soon as Harry and I figure out what ring to get. I might wait a bit though, her birthday is coming up. Might wait until then.”

            “Sooner is better Eggsy. There are no guarantees in our line of work.”

            “You’re probably right, Roxy. Thanks. Sleep well.” And he left her there to rest. He closed the door and walked back to Harry’s study, glad to find the man still awake and looking over some paperwork.

            “Hey Harry.”

            “Eggsy. How is she?” he asked quietly.

            “Bit upset, doesn’t think she’ll ever get her happy ending and all that. Kinda pushed her over the edge seeing me and Janelle tonight, I feel a bit badly to be honest.”

            “Eggsy, you are a kind young man and a wonderful friend. Don’t worry too much, she’ll be fine.”

            “Harry, you told me to ask her about Merlin, and it’s funny because, well, she said that Amelia accused Roxy of dumping her for Merlin. Odd, right?”

            “I don’t think it’s odd at all, Eggsy, even though it would an exception to everything we know about both of them, I wouldn’t be surprised if feelings ran deep.”

            “So what do we do?” Eggsy asked, taking a seat next to Harry.

            “We do nothing, except sit back and watch them figure it out for themselves, and give them every piece of loving advice we can along the way. And we also go to bed at a decent hour, in order to make it to our fitting appointments on time,” Harry smiled, glancing pointedly at the clock.

            “Right. Thanks Harry,” Eggsy sighed and traipsed off to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comment if I am fucking this up monumentally. Otherwise, let me know what I can do to improve, please be gentle :)


	4. I Won't Let These Little Things (Slip out of my mouth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy and Merlin have dinner part one. Merlin knows there's something on her mind.

            “Hey Merlin, we’re still on for dinner tonight, right?”

            “Of course, Lancelot. Unless of course the past 24 hours have been too hard on you? I heard you were with the boys last night.”

            “Just winding down, wanted to give her space to collect everything she left at my place. Nothing I couldn’t handle. But I would very much like to see you tonight,” she assured him, and she sounded heartbreakingly sincere. He wondered briefly how long he could go on like this, seeing her as nothing more than a friend and being there for her throughout her heartbreak, before it physically killed him. He looked into her face which was smiling with relief that he had not abandoned her to her own thoughts (He knew that she had the capability of taking herself to incredibly dark places if left alone too long after a trauma, either physical or emotional) and he supposed he could hold on a bit longer. In any case, he noticed that since she had first brought up the idea that things may not be going perfectly well with Amelia, he had the sense that she was not being entirely forthright with him, that she was concealing something. He had no reason except the shadow behind her eyes to believe that the secret was a dark one, and he hoped that whatever it was that was troubling her, she might see fit to confide in him if they took advantage of the privacy that dinner in her home would allow.

            “Of course I’ll be there.”

            “Good, 6:00 sound alright?”

            “Perfection. I’ll bring a wine, shall I?”

            “You spoil me. White would go best with the meal, if that’s alright.”

            “I’ll bring my favorite chardonnay. It might be your favorite after tonight, be warned,” he said cheekily, flashing her a crooked smile.

            “Sounds perfect. See you then, Merlin!”

            “Until tonight, Lancelot,” he replied, turning back to attempt to focus on his work, which would be harder than he anticipated. She was turning out to be completely destructive to his work ethic, through no fault of her own. How on earth he was going to get through dinner tonight without losing it, he had no idea.

            “Roxy! Wait up!” Eggsy ran after her down the hall, looking like an overgrown puppy bounding along beside her.

            “What can I do for you Eggsy?” She smiled patiently at him, already having a sinking  feeling of what he was going to ask her.

            “What are you going to wear tonight? For dinner? With Merlin?” She was taken aback, not by the question as it was exactly as she had feared, but by his tone- he had turned in to an up talker, ending every clause with a question. His child like eagerness was practically tangible.

            “I don’t know, normal things? Maybe my dinner suit,” she answered carefully and he pulled a disgusted face.

            “No. You can’t.”

            “Why not? And why am I listening to you? Besides what does it matter what I wear, he’s my boss.”

            “Did you invite him as your boss, or your friend?” Eggsy prodded and she took a deep breath.

            “As a friend. Okay fine, I see your point. But I don’t really own anything besides my Kingsman garb anymore,” she confessed and Eggsy laughed.

            “I find that hard to believe. Let’s go to your place now, and sort this out. I’ll help you with the potatoes, my secret recipe that you love so much?”

            “I have work to do. And how do you know what I’m making?”

            “Because when this was supposed to be dinner for Amelia, I went shopping with you for the groceries and the dress. You’re making poached salmon with potatoes and a spring green salad, and you were going to wear a red dress that is definitely not appropriate for dinner with Merlin, boss or not,” Eggsy giggled and she rolled her eyes. “And the work you supposedly have to do is paperwork that can totally wait a day or two. Come on, Roxy. Please,” Eggsy begged, pulling out the puppy eyes that Roxy credited wholeheartedly with Harry coming back from the dead.

            “Okay, I see your point. Let’s go.”

They have been at this for about an hour and Eggsy is about to give up and take her shopping. Everything is either too much, or might as well be sweatpants for how casual it is.

            “I may have something,” He heard Roxy’s muffled voice coming from corners of her closet he dared not explore.

            “Roxy, you’ve said before, and we discussed this, you can’t wear a band t shirt”

            “No I mean, I really think I’ve got it, hang on,” she yells at him and he fell silent, feeling properly chastised. Especially because when she emerges, he knows she’s right. She’s in jeans, which they had previously overruled, but the dark blue chiffon draped blouse complimented her beautifully, and he could not deny she looked perfect.

            “I’m calling you a liar the next time you tell me you’ve got nothing in your closet,” he grinned and she shoved him playfully.

            “I forgot I had it. Is it okay?”

            “Yes of course. You look stunning.”

            “I’m not going for stunning, I’m going for ‘trying to be friends with my boss by inviting him to my home for dinner’ and I’m terrified I will be overdressed.”

            “Roxy, everything will be fine. The potatoes are almost done, the salmon should be finished soon, its 5:45, I’ve got to go because he will be here soon, and you are amazing.” Eggsy rambled, and then was gone. She pinned her hair up in a messy ponytail and headed downstairs to await his arrival. Thankfully getting everything on to the proper serving trays distracted her, so she was actually surprised when the doorbell rang that it was already six.

            “Good evening Lancelot,” Merlin greeted her warmly, and she smiled, inviting him in. “You look wonderful,” he said quietly, and she smiled, taking in his out of the office attire. He wore dark grey tailored suit trousers, a white dress shirt, and a grey waistcoat that made him look even taller somehow, but more gentle. She found herself more comforted by his presence than usual.

            “So do you,” she replied warmly and he handed her the bottle of wine he had brought, which made her laugh. “Merlin, you remember telling me this wine would be my favorite by the end of the night?”

            “Yes,” he said, cautiously, completely unsure of where she was going with this.

            “You brought my favorite wine. Thank you,” she giggled, apparently still amused by the coincidence. Merlin, however was thanking his lucky stars, and taking it, as people in love do, as a sign from above that they were well matched.

            “I’m glad our tastes are well matched,” he managed to say before being silenced by his own embarrassment at bringing up the phrase “well matched” in reference to her. But even in this, she managed to ease his mind.

            “Me too,” she replied and he exhaled.

            “Would you like me to pour us some then?” he offered and she grinned enthusiastically.

            “Yes please, I’ll serve dinner.” Moving seamlessly together through the kitchen made quick work of the rest of the preparations, and they were sitting down to eat in mere minutes.

            “So how was the rest of your day?” she asked, and he smiled.

            “Wouldn’t you like to know? You and Eggsy snuck off rather quickly,” he teased.

            “We did. Sorry about that,” her tone was sheepish and he almost placed his hand on hers to let her know he had not meant it, but stopped himself.

            “No harm done, lass. Just teasing. It was fine, nothing eventful happened, unless you count Tristain breaking an ankle and needing an emergency evacuation.”

            “I would count that actually, that sounds awful, is he alright?”

            “Quite fine, resting in medical bay, waiting for Percival to tear him a new one for being an idiot.”

            “As usual. Well, I’m afraid I’m being selfish when I say I’m glad nothing happened that was so serious that you had to miss this. I would have been a wreck all by myself.”

            “I had a feeling that was the case. I’m glad I could be here. You could have asked Eggsy, had something come up.”

            “I could have, yes, but he’s currently in the midst of true, passionate love. He wouldn’t understand what I’m feeling, even if he was available and not on a date with his betrothed.”

            “Is it official then?” Merlin asked, his ears practically perking up at the hint of office gossip.

            “As good as done. Waiting for the right moment to actually ask. But then, she would never turn him down.”

            “True. Well, that’s me going to another wedding alone then,” he smirked, and finished the rest of his wine.

            “I’m not looking forward to it either,” she groaned and Merlin’s genius IQ kicked in at last.

            “Well, since I seem to be so good at distracting you from your dark place, why don’t we go together as friends? Assuming we are both still around and single when the day comes. I definitely will be, you, I’m not so sure.”

            “I’m not meeting many women in my line of work, Merlin. I’m going to be alone forever. Going with you to a wedding sounds perfectly divine.”

            “Excellent. You are an excellent cook by the way, Miss Morton.”

            “That’s the first time in awhile that you haven’t called me Lancelot.”

            “Is it really? I make a point of calling you Roxy whenever possible. It’s a lovely name.”

            “I like it better when you call me that. Lancelot is what you call me when you are screaming in my ear from millions of miles away.”

            “Right, sorry about that. I seem to be personally invested in you staying alive.”

            “How dare you?” she teased, and he laughed, more easily than he had in a long while.

            “Roxy, I have to ask, on a serious note, I have a feeling there is something that you have not been telling me the past few days. Would you mind sharing with me what has been bothering you?”

            “I had a feeling you knew something was up. Of course I’ll tell you. Let’s clear the table, pour some more wine, and talk in the living room, shall we?”

            “Of course. Let me help you,” He took her plate and followed her in to the kitchen, hoping that whatever she was about to tell him, it would not shatter his heart too badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment with constructive criticism, lovelies :) Thanks for reading!!


	5. Satisfaction Feels Like A Distant Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner is done and there is nothing left to do but talk. So they talk.

The dishes were cleared away, the leftovers put up, and the rest of the wine was evenly divided between their two glasses. There was nothing to do but cozy up in the living room by the fire and talk. Merlin laid a blanket on the couch for her comfort, but noticed that she picked it up and draped it over herself instead of laying on top of it like she normally did.   
“Merlin, I-” She began, but he cut her off gently.  
“Roxy, I need you to know that when I told you there was no way you should ever feel like a freak, or feel out of place, no matter what, I meant it with all my heart. I trust you know that,” he said, and she tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.  
“I know that Merlin, thank you. I appreciate it and in a way it makes what I have to say to you slightly easier, so I’m just going to come out with this.” Merlin stayed silent, but braced himself and shifted to fully face her so as to give her his full attention. “When I broke up with Amelia, she asked me if I found someone new. She specifically asked if I was ending our relationship because of you.” Roxy blushed and fiddled with the blanket as she spoke and Merlin almost choked. Not that any suffering of Roxy brought him any kind of joy (in fact the idea of him being a part of anything that had caused her pain wounded him) but if this was what had been bothering her, he could not help but feel a flicker of hope amidst the pain of hurting her.  
“And did you end it because of me?” he asked calmly, and her eyes widened, and she suddenly looked scared.  
“No! Don’t worry, Merlin, I’m not…you’re my friend, I know this. You don’t have to worry.” He was taken aback by this. She was worried that he would not want anything to do with him if she had feelings for him.   
“Roxy, I’m not worried. Whatever you feel is fine,” he tried to assure her and she laughed.  
“Merlin, you are one of my best friends. I’m not looking to change that,” she said, visibly relaxing. “But thank you. That does make me feel loads better. Less like a freak,” she smiled at him then, a private smile she saved just for him. He knew he had to tell her. Maybe not everything. Just about what he truly was, the confession of feelings could come at a time when she hadn’t just unknowingly shot him down.  
“Roxy, I have a confession to make.”  
“Oh this sounds serious,” she dropped the blanket and gave him her full attention, resting her chin in her hands and leaning in toward him like he was going to tell her a secret.  
“I, uh..okay. So I assume you have noticed that I don’t engage in the types of relationships the other agents do, correct?”  
“Sure,” she said, her eyes urging him to get to the point.  
“Well, when I told you that you were far from the weirdest person at Kingsman, and that you shouldn’t feel like a freak, I was speaking from experience. Roxy, I’m what you’d call homoromantic.”  
“So you’re gay, like me?” her face lit up and he couldn’t help but smile, but he shook his head.  
“Not exactly, this is difficult to explain. I’m romantically attracted to men.”  
“So, sexually?” she prompted.  
“I’m what you’d probably call asexual. I wasn’t always though,” he trailed off and she looked ferocious.  
“Did something happen, Merlin, if it did, I swear to God I will-”  
“No! Roxy, relax darling girl. Nothing happened. I just used to think that I would love to have sex, but only if it was with someone I really loved. That’s more demisexual thinking. But I never found anyone who meant that much to me, so I just say I’m asexual because its easier and less painful. This way I’m not waiting for something that will never happen,” he finished and she was looking at him so kindly and gently he almost shattered beneath the adoration in her eyes.  
“You are not a freak,” she whispered, and opened her arms to him. It was too tempting not to, so he awkwardly negotiated hugging her on the couch with her crossed legs between them.  
“That means a lot Roxy.”  
“It means a lot to me too, that you would tell me this. And that you would put so much effort in to helping me feel better. You’re the best.” The embrace went on for several heavenly moments, and it ended far too soon. But when they did at last break apart, the air in the room was less tense, and everything felt lighter, as though the secret had been a physical burden. He breathed easier, and so did she, and the talked long in to the night, until the clock chimed 2 in the morning, and they both acknowledged that it was time for bed.   
“I’ll get out of your hair, but this was lovely,” he told her, unable to think of anything else to say.  
“Let’s do this every Saturday night. Dinner at my place,” she suggested and he quickly agreed.  
“That would be perfect.” They stood on her porch, the light from the living room and the street light shining on them, and they hugged goodnight. Before he released her, he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, and then they said their goodbyes.

 

As soon as the door was closed behind her, Roxy let out the breath she had been holding all night. He wasn’t mad at her, and he trusted her with his secret! At that thought, as she stood there dwelling on what he told her, she couldn’t help but feel a little sad, and she didn’t know why. There was no reason on earth why the news of his sexual and romantic status should be so devastating to her, and there was no reason why her stomach should fill with butterflies thinking about his lips ghosting over her hair. No reason at all. At least, that’s what she attempted to tell herself as she got ready for bed, and then laid awake until sun up thinking about the gentle exchange between them. She finally drifted off at about 7 in the morning, thanking the heavens that she didn’t have to be at work on Sundays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any songs to suggest for this work (I'm trying to pick songs that sort of capture the theme of each chapter, but I am not sure my music taste is not absolute shit) that would be fabulous!! Otherwise, just tell me what you think.


	6. You Are Forever On My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of dinner, and Roxy prepares for a mission. This chapter title is from the son Lullabies by Yuna.

            “I kissed her.”

            “You did _what_?” Harry’s voice is demanding, incredulous, and a little bit disbelieving.

            “Yep. Kissed her. The top of her head, but still.” Harry’s exhalation carries no shortage of aggravation.

            “So you wake me up and make me thinking you’re having a crisis, only to tell me the best news I have heard in awhile, only to then tell me that it was a _lie_?!? Why on earth am I friends with you Merlin?” Harry howled in dismay and although he knows its all in fun, Merlin cannot help but feel a bit hurt.

            “Harry, I’m in no mood. Besides, that’s not all that’s bothering me, you twat.”

            “You’re the one being a twat, I thought we’d established that fact. Very well, my little tyrant. What’s on your precious bald mind?” Merlin decided to take the high road and ignore the multiple jabs to his ego.

            “I got a call. One of our intel collection missions has gone a bit dodgy. Eggsy needs backup on that honeypot, turns out we were wrong about the target.”

            “The man is notoriously gay, Merlin, what is actually going on here?” Harry’s voice was strained, and Merlin knew his focus had shifted to his concern for Eggsy.

            “Well, the man’s security guard is not, and we need him distracted so Eggsy can collection the information without being harmed. So I have to send her in.”

            “And you have to witness her with a man that is not you, is that what you’re worried about?”

            “Worried about her, blind with unjustified and unpredicted jealousy, you know. Any of those phrases would work.”

            “Right, of course. Who knew you had a heart? Oh, wait. I did. I’ve been telling you for years, Merlin. All you need was the right one to come along. I’ll grant you, I’m surprised that your one and only happens to be a female, but there you are. Life’s funny that way.”

            “Of course it is. Thanks for listening Harry. I’ll be going to bed now, to enjoy the entire 24 hours I have before I have to call my girl in.”

            “Your girl?”

            “Don’t start.”

            “Wouldn’t dream of it. 24 hours? Merlin, pull her in tomorrow.”

            “I’m asking Eggsy to collect data tomorrow, so she isn’t flying in blind. She needs her rest anyway,” Merlin explained, embarrassed at the fondness in his voice when he spoke of her.

            “Sure she does. As long as its not an emergency, Merlin, I swear if my godson gets hurt because of your frustrations, I will actually set your lab on fire.”

            “I know you will, Harry. I promise, Eggsy is fine.”

            “Good. See you tomorrow. Rather, later today, you petulant infant.”

            “See you tomorrow, Arthur.” He hangs off before Harry can tell him to piss off, and falls asleep with a smile on his face, despite his nerves about the kiss, though his dreams were restless, taking him through every possible aftermath scenario. He awoke thinking of her, and wishing for peace of mind, but more than anything hoping that she was alright.

 

As it turned out, he needed the distraction of guiding Percival on his next mission the next day, or he would lose it. Percival was being exceptionally unhelpful, however, and Merlin ended up leaving him with one of the interns to check in with Eggsy.

            “How’s my favorite twink this fine afternoon?” Merlin’s sarcasm shone through his Scottish brogue perfectly, and Eggsy laughed loudly.

            “In a fine mood, as apparently you are. How was dinner with Roxy then?” Eggsy asked and Merlin rolled his eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, old man. I can practically hear you doing it.”

            “Right, sorry. It was fine.”

            “She feeling better about Amelia?”

            “Yeah, a bit. Mainly she just wanted to feel less out of place.”

            “I can understand that. Had some weird stuff going on in my head for a bit, before Janelle.”

            “I’m sorry to hear that Eggsy, although I’m glad she helped you through it. If you ever need anything, you know I’m just as much your friend as hers, yeah?” Merlin suddenly felt very protective of both Eggsy and Roxy.

            “Thanks Merlin, that’s good to hear. I talked with Harry mostly, no offense. He and I think alike you know? Roxy needs you more than I ever have, or ever will. You’re all she talks about most days.”

            “I can’t imagine why. But you’re a good friend to tell me these things.”

            “No problem bruv. Getting her back in her right mind is going to be a team effort, you get me? We all got to love her the best we can.” Eggsy’s words were lined with subtext and Merlin smiled.

            “Indeed we do my boy. Speaking of, take care of her. Make sure we know all we need to know by 10 pm tonight. I don’t want to send her in with nothing to go on. But she will see you tomorrow,” Merlin promised and Eggsy breathed a sigh of relief.

            “Thanks Merlin. Wanna wrap this up and come home. I miss everyone.” Merlin knew he specifically meant Janelle, really, but told him he missed him too, and then signed off.

_We have to love her the best we can_ were Eggsy’s words. Was he reading too much in to this, or did Eggsy just encourage him to act on his feelings? Merlin pondered the idea and decided it could wait- he would send her off tomorrow and think about it while they had the horrible advantage of distance between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, as always!


	7. Danger, Not Quite At Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been awhile since I updated. This one is kinda funky, but I have a point, I promise. Warnings for slight non-con/possible trigger warning.

“Run me through it one more time, please.”  

“Okay, Merlin, only for you. I’m in, I’m going after the security guard. I’ll take him out with the dart in my bracelet as discussed. If I need back up, there’s a poisoned blade in the toe and heel of my shoe and if all else fails, there’s Eggsy down the hall.”

“That’s my girl,” he said and she cursed the butterflies that ran through her stomach at the sound of his praise. _Focus,_ she admonished herself, and breathed in and out as she circulated the room.

“Welcome to the party, Lancelot,” Eggsy’s voice was teasing, but also relieved. He wanted to go home so badly, everyone could tell. And Harry and Janelle wanted him back home as soon as possible. Roxy knew the pressure was on from the two of them to take care of Eggsy, and the pressure from Merlin was equally felt to take care of herself.

“Why thank you, Galahad. I’m off to distract our friendly neighborhood muscle, you go open your legs for a millionaire like a good boy,” she attempted to keep her words lighthearted but her heart was pounding in her chest.

“Already got him wrapped around my finger, Rox. You’ll have no trouble.” Eggsy’s reassuring tone told her that he already knew how shaken she was, and she was curious as to why she suddenly had the sinking feeling that he knew why. She found herself thinking that she would love to know why, if he knew, because she was unfamiliar with the responses her body and mind were having to this situation. She shook herself and cleared her mind, and focused.

“Going in.” And then she fell silent until she was sidling up to the bar next to the bodyguard. The man was not unattractive, she observed, as she swung her hair over her shoulder to show off her killer neckline and ordered a drink.

“Allow me,” the low voice of the target was paying for her drink before it was even in her hand. That turned out to be the boost in confidence she needed. Her mind cleared, the lights brightened, and she flashed him a killer smile.

“You’re awfully generous to a stranger,” she purred, leaning in close.

“I’m a giver,” he replied, leering at her and she almost gagged, but instead made a show of looking him up and down.

“I can see that,” she said in a low smoky voice that never failed to do the trick.

“Well, well, looks like we’re all lucky in love this week,” a loud, booming voice coming from someone standing behind the target rang out, and Roxy blushed and smiled as the millionaire Eggsy was supposed to be seducing appeared out of nowhere, with Eggsy on his arm.

“Sir?” the target stood at attention.

“Relax, Stephen. Take the night off to enjoy time with this pretty young thing. Lord knows I’ll be enjoying mine,” he boasted loudly, and leaned in to kiss Eggsy, who smiled coyly, but let himself be kissed by the older man. Roxy heard a muffled snort in her ear and knew Merlin was watching this and enjoying himself immensely.

“Of course sir. My lady, may I present Sir Edward, Earl of Oxford.”

“15th Edward to hold the title, impressive Sir,” Roxy batted her eyelashes at him, and extended her hand.

“Stephen, your taste in women continues to improve every day. I’m delighted to introduce young Henry to..” He trails off and Roxy smiles.

“I’m Gwen, sir. It’s lovely to make your acquaintance, as well as meet your charming friend,” She smiled sweetly at Eggsy, who didn’t fool her with his simpering smile, because his eyes clearly screamed _bite me, bitch, I’ll show you charming._

“Lovely to meet you, darling. Now, I’ll leave you two alone, I’ve promised Henry a tour of my chambers,” he winked and the two disappeared.

“Would you accompany me to my bed tonight, milady?” Stephen asked and Roxy raised an eyebrow.

“You move fast, don’t you?” but then chastised herself for objecting. The quicker she got this done, the quicker the intel was collected and they could go home.

“I do when I see something I want,” he whispered, leaning in toward her ear, and a shiver of disgust that she passed off for one of pleasure ran through her body.

“Well then, lead the way,” she said, and allowed him to steer her upstairs towards the elevator. The party they had attended was in the Earl’s home, and therefore the bedrooms were easily accessible. Thank god. He did not try to kiss her in the elevator, and she was given enough space to text Merlin telling him to have a car waiting in an hour. This would be quick. They entered his room, larger and more lavish than she had expected, and she assumed that he must have been higher in the rankings in the Earl’s good graces than they had previously imagined. The information was a pleasant surprise. If she was going to lie back and think of England, then she may as well be on a comfortable bed.

            “Do you like it?” he asked, with an air of boasting and she smiled invitingly at him.

            “Very much. I think my favorite part is the bed,” she said coyly, and he lifted her off her feet and threw her on the bed. She moaned out of shock and once again the gesture passed as one of pleasure. She began to unzip her gown, but he made quick work of pushing it up her legs, and sliding a finger into her without warning. She threw her head back and tried to remember how much she loved her job, but it was difficult. As heat unexpectedly pooled in her belly, and she found herself meeting his thrusts, she found herself wishing she was looking into the tender green eyes of her best friend, no doubt watching from his desk back at HQ. She wanted his arms around her, she wanted to feel the pleasure of his touch, she longed to hold him and for him to hold her. As she neared the peak of her pleasure that was purely a physiological response to stimulation, and nothing more, she had to make an effort not to cry out his name, not because she was picturing him doing this to her, but because she was on the verge of tears with how much she missed him, and the crushing realization that he would never do this to her. He would be gentle where this man was greedy. As pleasure crashed over her, her tears spilled and ran down her face, and she employed the use of her shoe. The heel of her right stiletto stabbed him in the side before he could even remove his trousers, and he was out in two seconds. She could hear Eggsy in her ear.

            “Roxy, got the intel, Edward’s out cold. A car is waiting, you ready?” He had heard the whole thing, probably knew she was crying, on the edge of sobbing her eyes out.

            “I’m done here, he’s passed out.” And she collected her things, wiped her eyes, and then she ran. Ran from the building with Eggsy behind her, running out in to the street, and throwing the car door open and Eggsy slamming it closed as the car sped off to take her back to Merlin. Only when their breaths had evened out did he look into her reddened eyes and tear streaked face, and he offered her his hand. Instead of taking it, she launched herself into his outstretched arm and sobbed against him, letting him hold her as she shook. Eggsy was alarmed by this; Roxy was not usually weepy, and she was crying so forcefully that her whole body was heaving. He was amazed she could breathe.

            “He too rough with you? I’ll go back and kill him,” Eggsy offered but she shook her head no, and reached up to push the power button on the side of his glasses, cutting the feed to HQ. The words were going to leave her mouth even if she didn’t want them to, she just knew it. She couldn’t stop the confession that was coming, but she thought it wise to protect herself.

            “I miss Merlin. I want to go home to him, its only been two days, Eggsy and I miss him. I realized I miss him while I was with that bodyguard. I think I may have feelings for him but I don’t know what to do about it,” she sobbed and he held her close and tried to tell her everything would be alright. He tried so hard to pretend he hadn’t heard the sharp, pained intake of breath in his ear piece as she made her confession, and managed not to tell her that Merlin had heard every damn word.

            “Merlin? Did you get that?”  He asked once she was asleep, about two minutes later.

            “Eggsy, this is Harry. I heard every word. Merlin unfortunately did not.” Eggsy exhaled, not sure if he was relieved or horribly disappointed.

            “Right, well, we’ll talk about this when I’m home, yeah? Should be another two hours,” he said, and he felt the exhaustion creeping up on him.

            “See you then Eggsy.” Eggsy stroked Roxy’s hair and managed to stay awake to pass her off to Merlin’s anxiously waiting arms.  

            “Is she alright?” Merlin demanded, and Eggsy nodded quickly.

            “Just exhausted. I got the feeling the mark wasn’t much of a gentleman. Just let her rest somewhere, you got a bed in your little hideout in there?” Eggsy nodded toward the lights coming from HQ as they headed toward the huge building.

            “I do,” Merlin admitted. “And I have something she can wear. Come with me, we’ll get her changed.” Eggsy and Harry both agreed, and Harry made tea for himself, Merlin and Eggsy, while Eggsy took a still passed out Roxy out of her gown and negotiated her into an undershirt of Merlin’s and some flannel pants. Merlin waited until Eggsy was done changing her and he went in to tuck her in and hang up her dress. He spent the rest of the night drinking tea and watching over her as she slept, hoping when she woke up he would have the courage to tell her what he should have from the minute he knew how far gone he was for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, hope you guys like it. Let me know if you have any questions or constructive criticisms.


	8. My Heart Is A Ghost Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin tries to keep it together through Roxy's distress. Basically Chapter 7 with more focus on Merlin.

         He could barely watch this unfold before his eyes. How on earth he was going to make it through the whole night, he had no idea. It wasn’t that he didn’t have faith in Roxy’s skills, far from it, it was just that he spotted the security guard from Eggsy’s glasses and couldn’t help but take note of how much bigger than Roxy he was. He was muscular as one would suspect in a security guard, and tall. The tallest person in the room, he would definitely tower over Roxy. This bothered him, because it meant that it lessened her chances of getting away without being harmed. It also lessened the chances that intercourse (or any other less than pure acts she would have to perform to accomplish her goal) would not injure her. He gritted his teeth as she ordered her drink and flirted shamelessly. _Its her job,_ he reminded himself, but the assurance was feeble, and did little to make a difference in his mood. He nearly broke when they walked into the bedroom, and by the time her dress was pushed back to bunch around her thighs, he was breathing like a drowning man. This was so wrong. He watched her bite her lip, and wished more than anything that if she was going to be with any man, it could be him. He would be gentle with her. He would play with her hair and tell her she was beautiful. She would never have to experience pain from his touch, and she would only ever feel safe and warm in his bed. His irrational side screamed at him to make her quit. But then, she wouldn’t be who she truly was. He would have loved her whether or not she was in Kingsman, but she probably wouldn’t love herself if she did not get to do what she was clearly born for. Maybe the solution was to back off on tracking her missions so closely. This was clearly bad for his health, and he could not imagine how this would get better even if things did work out the way he wanted between them. He watched as she tried not to cry and suddenly, he saw red. There was nothing he would not do in that moment to be able to be with her, to kill that man in cold blood and carry her home safely in his arms. And the moments until she was back at HQ passed too slowly, although he didn’t get that far. He made it until she launched herself into the cab and started crying.

            “HARRY!” he yelled, and the man came bursting into his office, guns blazing. Literally, he threw the door open with his torso, and came in with a gun in each hand.

            “Merlin! What the hell are you doing?” he breathed a heavy sigh loaded with exasperation  and irritation, and then saw that his friend was as white as a sheet. “What’s wrong? Is Eggsy alright?”

            “Eggsy is fine, Roxy, she’s not, she’s in the car on the way home,” Merlin started to explain.

            “Well that sounds good, you should see her soon.”

            “She shut down Eggsy’s glasses, she’s crying. Sobbing. I can’t watch this, I’m going to go wait for her. You stay here,” He demanded, dragging Harry in to the chair and bolting. Harry directed his attention to the feed, and tuned in just in time to hear Roxy pouring her heart and soul out about Merlin, and how she felt about him, and he wished desperately that the man had stayed to hear how deeply he was loved by his most precious girl. Apparently his gasp of surprise was audible because the second Roxy was out like a little light, Eggsy’s voice was ringing out through the comms.

            “Merlin? Did you get that?” Harry smiled sadly. Eggsy was trying so hard to get these two together. He hated that he had to disappoint the boy.

            “Eggsy, this is Harry. I heard every word. Merlin unfortunately did not.”

            “Right, well, we’ll talk about this when I’m home, yeah? Should be another two hours,” Eggsy replied, sounding defeated, and Harry could hear how exhausted he was, so he decided to let him rest. He’d get to have a real conversation about this soon enough.

            “See you then Eggsy.”

 

Merlin stared out in to the darkness, trying so hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, metaphorical or otherwise. But there was none. He tried so hard to believe that everything would be okay, that there would be a life for them, sometime in the future. A house, a dog, maybe even a wedding. He had dreamed, and now he knew she would never be happy with a man; the act had physically pained her. Sure, he could be as gentle as he wanted but in the end she would never really return his feelings, never to depth that he experienced them. He found he didn’t mind as much as he thought he would. Sure, he would be alone (operating under the assumption that everyone only got one shot at true happiness in life), but she would be happy, unharmed, and remain in his life far longer than she might have otherwise if he had tried to force it, or make any unwelcome feelings or advances known. So he stared out in to the dark, tried to make peace with being alone, and prayed to whatever deity existed he could think of that she would return to him in one peace. He paced and paced, only calming down long enough to be still when she was being passed into his arms, leaning in to him as though she were touch starved. He pulled her close, and barely managed to carry on a conversation with Eggsy and Harry as they got her inside, and in to the bed in his private office. Eggsy got her changed into some pajamas while he and Harry waited outside and talked. Harry pressed a hot cup of tea in to his hands, which he accepted gratefully.

            “She needs you to tell her how you feel.”

            “How would you know, Harry?”

            “I just do.”

            “The idea of being with men physically pains her. She cried, Harry. Cried. I can’t be the one to make her cry.”

            “Right, of course. And her tears and discomfort couldn’t possibly be related to the fact that the man she was supposed to be entrapping happened to be a colossal brute.” Harry’s dry wit was failing to amuse, mostly because if he kept talking this way, Merlin would make the huge mistake of daring to hope again. That hadn’t worked out so well for him before; his heart was still in pieces.

            “Harry, I can’t go there again.”

            “Also glossing over the fact that she clung to you like she was dying and you were the cure. There is also that fact for your obtuse mind to completely ignore. Don’t forget that.”

            “Harry please.” Merlin whispered, looking into his mug.

            “She cares for you. Trust her enough to tell her what’s bothering you. Please.”

            “I’ll take it under advisement,” he said, and nothing more was discussed between them, because Eggsy walked out of the bedroom, and sent Merlin in to deal with the weaponized formal wear. He knew they would discuss him and Roxy when he wasn’t there, but he didn’t care. She needed him. He took care of the dress and the shoes, and then sat in his office all night, checking on her every so often to make sure her rest was peaceful and she had only the sweetest of dreams, and little by little he felt his desolated heart healing piece by piece as he cared for her and made her feel better. He knew it was not healthy, but fixing her was fixing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	9. A Statement From The Author

Hey Everyone! 

I'm so glad everyone has taken such a liking to this story, and I'm always welcoming of feedback from my readers. Truthfully, this fic started out with me reading a compelling headcannon, a post about Merlin being the best boyfriend ever (which is TRUE) and my best friend in the whole world asking for fifty plus chapters of Roxlin cuteness.

 

Which brings me to my point; 

 

For a couple of reasons, when my friend asked me to write this fic, she requested it to be smut free. I accepted the (let's face it- monumental) challenge, and am loving every minute of it. 

However, i recognize that my readers might be thirsty for more, and i need to get the thoughts that Mark Strong inspires, out of my head and on to the page. I will begin posting smutty chapter alternatives under a new story that will be clearly marked. Be aware, to fill in the blanks in the story, it is advised to read the clean, plot filled version as well.

Enjoy!


	10. Chapter 9- What A Wicked Thing To Do, To Let Me Dream Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy wakes up and realizes she's in deeper than she thought.

The light was artificial, but perfectly set- not too bright, but not so dim that she drifted off to sleep. She inhaled deeply, taking in the morning air; everything around her smelled familiar, although she had never woken up in this place before. She sat up a bit, leaning against the gigantic mountain of pillows behind her. She was wearing a t shirt, and flannel pajama bottoms, and the bulletproof dress was hanging on the closet door. She breathed in once more- the room smelled like Merlin. She glanced around for him, the glass walls of the room allowing her to see the entirety of the office. He was nowhere to be found. She leaned back, relaxing in to her environment at last. She felt secure and content. Wherever Merlin was, she was safe, she knew. It was one of the only tried and true facts of her life as an agent. She tried to let her mind rest, tried to clear all stress from her mind, but she could not. She settled for running her fingers through her hair a few times so she wouldn’t look so disheveled when he came back. She then wondered why she would care how she looked when he saw her, but did not get to spend too much time thinking about it before he entered his office, and, seeing that she was awake, brought in the tray he had been carrying.

            “Good morning,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, and setting the tray down in front of her.

            “Good morning Merlin,” she smiled, and saw the contents of the tray when he sat down. “That’s enough food to feed an army,” she laughed and he smiled warmly at her.

            “Well, I thought if you were feeling up to it, maybe I could have breakfast with you before you go home.”

            “Kicking me out so soon?” she asked, a raised eyebrow and crooked smile disguising how much that stung.

            “Hardly. Didn’t think you’d want to spend all day with an old geezer like me,” he said, using the same self deprecating humor to mask his troubles.

            “You’re not old, my dear. Of course I’d love to have breakfast with you.” She plucked a strawberry from the plate and bit in to it. “I love strawberries, how did you know?”      

            “It’s my job to know these things,” he replied diplomatically, but she shook her head.

            “It’s you job when its everyone else. Eggsy and me, you love us.” The words caught in her throat. She was done for.

            “That I do,” he agreed, and the tension left her body. “Learning about you was the hardest though, and a bit more fun. You didn’t want to let me in at all, remember?”

            “I was…guarded. But look, now that you found out from talking to me, instead of the easy way out, isn’t this so much better?”

            “I could not have said it any better myself, darling. This is infinitely more fun.” She then dared herself to look into his eyes, and what she saw shocked her. The world was in his eyes- everything he had seen, felt, and experienced in his life was wide open for her, culminating in the exact steps that had lead him here now to this room with her, and the moment, from what she could see, was full of love. His eyes bled affection for her. She blinked and tried to put it out of her mind, but she could not, so she asked the only logical question she could think.

            I don’t know your name,” she almost whispered. “I know almost everything else. But I don’t know your name.”

            “Not many people do,” he replied quietly without breaking eye contact.

            “Would you tell me?”

            “Roxy..”

            “No, please don’t brush me aside. I want to know your name. I want to know what to call you when we have dinner together, and the dust from the work day has been brushed off, and you talk to me like I’m the only person in the world you can see. In those honest hours we have, rare as they are, what do I call you?” She asked, and he hoped how much he wanted to pull her to him was not as evident in his eyes as he suspected it was.

            “My name is William.” His answer was barely a whisper, but she heard and smiled, though he was looking at the ground.

            “William.” She liked the way it sounded on her tongue. She reached out to touch his face, and he looked up, and she said it again. “William,” she could not keep the smile off her face. “It’s a lovely name, suits you,” she said and he could not stop himself from taking her hand.

            “I’m glad you like it. I have always enjoyed being Merlin more, but I’m glad you like it. Might not be so horrible now,” he sighed heavily, and they continued to eat their breakfast.

            “What do you have planned for today?” she asked to break the silence.

            “Setting up a couple of things for Percival’s next mission, I have a briefing this evening,  and before all that I’ve got to meet with Arthur and Galahad about their upcoming recovery mission and restock the fitting rooms again. Bit busy,” he said apologetically and she nodded.

            “Right, well I can get out of your hair at anytime,” she tried to be light hearted but he could sense her distress.

            “Don’t be silly. You stay as long as you want.”

            “Thank you. I was just feeling sorry for myself, really, I’ll get changed and then go home.”

            “If that’s what you really want, that’s fine. I’ll call Eggsy and he can bring you some clothes and take you home.”

            “That would be lovely. I want you to get your work done anyhow, so you don’t have to cancel on Saturday.” She tested the waters, to see if he was kicking her out because he didn’t want to see her, or because he really was busy. She knew it was childish, and these were the games she played with women normally, but something about him made it impossible for her to stop herself. She had to know that she was still his girl.

            “Of course. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. A bomb could go off, and I’d probably still show up.” She laughed with her whole body, throwing her head back and emitting the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

            “Right, good to know, I’ll be finding your replacement, then,” she teased and he couldn’t help but smile even though he tried to be stern.

            “Probably best, if I’m drinking wine with you while the world is burning to the ground.”

            “That’s the general idea,” she replied and placed the tray on the side table. She held out her hand, and he took it, only to be pulled to sit on the bed, next to her legs.

            “Is this okay?” he asked, and she nodded.

            “So how did I get here last night, then?”

            “The car brought you straight to headquarters. I was waiting for you. Eggsy knew you had been through the ringer so he let you sleep. He handed you over to me, and I brought you in here. Eggsy got you changed while I made some tea with Harry, and then we just let you sleep. You needed it.”

            “Thank you. I don’t know what it was about that mission, I just…I don’t know.” She was at a loss for words.

            “I apologize for sending you on a honey pot mission in which the target was a man. I am so sorry, I know your tendencies and I know being with a man makes you uncomfortable,” he started but she placed a trembling hand on his leg.

            “It’s my job. Besides, he was a special kind of terrible. And the idea of men isn’t so unpleasant, not always. Depends on the man.” She couldn’t look at him. He reached out a tentative arm and she leaned into it and before he could stop it, or knew what was really going on, they were embracing. “Whose pajamas am I wearing?” she mumbled in to his chest.

            “Mine. One of my many pairs, don’t worry about it,” he assured her and she fell silent.

            “Can I keep them? They are comfy,” she mumbled, her cheeks turning pink.

            “Of course,” he replied, and they ended their embrace as Eggsy walked through the door.

            “I brought you some things,” he said softly to Roxy as Merlin gathered up the tray.

            “Thank you,” she replied, trying to communicate how lost she felt with her eyes, and the tiny nod he gave her told her that he got the message loud and clear.

            “Roxy, I’m going to pull the curtains closed so you can change in peace, alright?” Merlin offered and closed the dark green curtains around the rooms glass walls, and then he left.

            “So what did I just interrupt?” Eggsy teased, tossing her a pile of clothes.

            “Nothing I wanted to continue.”

            “He do anything I should know about?” Eggsy asked, suddenly aggressive.

            “No! It’s just, the more we do things like this, the harder it is to know that we can’t be together.”

            “And why can’t you?”

            “Its complicated, and not my story to tell,” she sighed and tugged the pajamas off her body.

            “Alright, if that’s the way its gotta be then.” He looked hurt.

            “Eggsy. If it were my secret, you would already know it. You know I tell you everything. This just isn’t mine to tell,” she assured him and he nodded, handing her the jeans he had brought. She pulled them on, with some difficulty.

            “Eggsy, you’ve brought me my clubbing jeans,” she groaned.

            “I should hope so. Your ass looks amazing,” he said appreciatively, and she shot him a look. “Here, just put on your shirt and le’ts go,” he tossed it at her and she accepted it gratefully.

            “Eggsy…” her tone when she saw which top it was, was a clear warning.

            “What?” he asked innocently.

            “You are not subtle at all. And this is unnecessary.” It was a loose fitting, white deep v neck with a lace back that looked amazing on her and showed everything. “Did you bring me heels too?” He looked guiltily away. “Dammit Eggsy.”

            “They’re the strappy ones you love. Your comfiest pair. I was only thinking of you. Brought you a hair brush and some lip gloss too.” He tossed her a makeup bag, winking suggestively.

            “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. Really. But please.” She said sternly, before reluctantly tugging a brush through her hair and applying a bit of gloss to her chapped lips. He handed her the shoes and with an award winning eyeroll, she tugged them on.

            “You look amazing.” He gathered her things and tucked them away in the duffle he was carrying, before handing her her phone.

            “Get me out of here.” She pleaded and he kissed her cheek before he opened the door to Merlin’s office.

            “Merlin!” Roxy called out, and the man appeared out from behind a stack of documents large enough to conceal him.

            “Going somewhere?” he asked, not really sure where to look.

            “I don’t know what he has planned for me, but he picked the outfit,” Roxy said, looking pointedly at Eggsy.

            “He has good taste,” Merlin choked out and Roxy laughed.

            “Aww. Do I look pretty?” she teased, and he turned pink.

            “Always,” he said quietly and he face suddenly was very serious.

            “I’m going to go home, Merlin. Thanks for everything.”

            “Always a pleasure, Roxy. Glad you are getting some rest.” She walked forward to hug him, and once she was safely in his arms she whispered in his ear,

            “Thank you for always being there for me, William.” And before he could tell her how in love he had fallen with his name when it fell from her lips, she was gone, following Eggsy out the double doors and out in to the bright, sunlit world, where he could not, at present at least, follow her.

 

            “Okay Roxy, tell me what I just saw in there.” Eggsy said as soon as they were in the car.

            “Those glasses shut off?” she asked, and he nodded.

            “Wouldn’t ask you to open up if they were.”

            “Right, of course. What you saw was the horrible mess I am in. When I told you last night that I thought I had feelings for Merlin? I don’t think that anymore. I know I do. Eggsy, I am head over heels in love with that man. This is strange for me because normally I fall in love with women, as you know. But I love him. With everything that I am, I am desperately in love with Merlin. And it cannot ever be what I want it to be.”

            “Because if the thing you mentioned earlier that you can’t tell me?”

            “Because of the thing, exactly.”

            “What do you intend to do about it?”

            “Take a break from HQ. Seeing him hurts so much right now, but it also helps. But until I figure out if it helps or hurts more, I am getting some distance.”

            “Yeah but you just said you’d have dinner with him on Saturday like always, right?”

            “Well, duh. Saturday is 4 days from now, if I don’t see him in 4 days I’ll go crazy from missing him.”

            “You’ve got it bad, luv,” Eggsy said, putting an arm around her.

            “Sweet, but unhelpful,” she said, but the remark lacked the bitterness she intended.

            “I know. That’s me,” he said and they sat together in silence until the car dropped her off. “I won’t tell him, but, Roxy, you should give him a chance.”

            “Thank you Eggsy,” she said quietly and walked in to her flat, intending to get some reading done. She got through about a chapter of East Of Eden before falling in to a deep sleep.

 

“I’m sorry I lied to her, Merlin. But…did you get that?” Eggsy said hopefully as the car pulled away.

“Yes, lad. I did,” Merlin said softly, and Eggsy smiled, but his joy faltered when he heard the sounds of hitched breaths. Great. He had lied to Roxy and reduced poor Merlin to tears. Today was not his day.

“If you need either of us, Harry and I are there for you,” Eggsy assured him and then signed off. He felt terrible, but if this got them together, it might be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, leave comments and criticisms, I welcome suggestions!


	11. I Love You, I Love You, Like Never Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!! I love this chapter, I hope you guys do too

It was Thursday, and she was going crazy. Harry and Eggsy had been to visit her, and Eggsy had, earlier that morning, taken her to her appointments with Kingsman’s medical staff, to make sure there was no lasting physical damage from her disastrous honey pot fiasco. Harry had wanted to ensure that there was no psychological trauma, but Roxy had insisted that she was fine. Harry conceded, but had sent Eggsy home with her anyway and they talked about it. Eggsy came home later that night with the amazing news that nothing much was wrong with Roxy except the fact that her love for Merlin was slowly eating away at her sanity. Harry chuckled at Eggsy’s definition of good news, and sent him off to spend the night with Janelle or there would be no ring purchasing at all anytime soon.

Which left Roxy, pacing her living room by herself, wanting nothing more than to march down to HQ and…

And what? What, given the chance, and guts, to walk in to that building, what could she do that would not end it catastrophic failure?

Nothing. The realization made it all the worse for her in her restless state. She could do nothing more than she had already done.

_You could tell him how you feel,_ her adventurous side suggested, but she shook off the idea. Telling him how she felt could only lead to him hating her, and that was the only thing worse than the hell she was living in now. But still, even with her complete lack of anything to say, she had to see him, even if it was just that- seeing him. She could stand there and look at him, and it would be enough. She could watch him do his job, nothing but his every day responsibilities, and that would be perfect. After all, it’s how she fell in love with him. Just being there while he did his job, while he kept everyone alive and safe just by being him, and being passionate about the wellbeing of those around him, that is what got her, hook line and sinker. He didn’t even have to try, and she was done for. Now, just to see him, she would give anything. But she knew that to walk in there would be disastrous.

So she waited, staring at her phone, waiting for anything that would give her a reason to get out of her apartment.

 

“Merlin?” Harry walked in to the expansive office to find the tech wizard at his desk, pale, and miserable.

“Harry, don’t.” Merlin’s voice was barely a whisper and he sounded completely broken.

“Merlin, what are you doing?” Harry asked, realizing he was watching a feed of Roxy, in a car, tears in her eyes.

“Eggsy didn’t turn off his glasses when they left on Tuesday. I just now got his feed from the mission, this was attached to it. I know I shouldn’t watch, but I can’t seem to stop.”

“Merlin, this is what you wanted,” Harry reminded him gently.

“Is it? Did I really want her to be so tormented over me? Did I want her to look so sad?” Merlin was distraught.

“She wouldn’t look like that if she knew, William. She would be so happy if she knew. She’s being respectful of the secrets you told her. Only you didn’t tell her the whole story, so she has no idea. And she’s sad because she loves you, and thinks it’s impossible for you to love her. She would not look like that if she knew,” Harry said quietly and Merlin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I will get her in here if you want.”

“I…yes. Please.”

“Okay. I will tell Eggsy, and then page her into HQ.”

“Thank you Harry.”

 

“Eggsy? It’s Harry.”

“I know, silly. What’s going on?” Eggsy was on pins and needles.

“First of all, go with the princess cut diamond from Tiffany’s. And propose to the girl soon. Please. Second of all? Go do that annoying thing you do where you show up at Roxy’s house and make her dress nicely just for a visit to HQ. Very nicely, if possible. I think this is the day they figure it out.”

“Harry, you are amazing! I will go over there right now!” Eggsy hung up the phone without waiting for a reply, and told the driver where to go. “Make it quick, bruv!” he cheered, and within moments he was at Roxy’s flat.

            “Roxy!! Let me in!” He pounded on the door.

            “Eggsy?” Roxy asked, bewildered, running a hair brush through her hair haphazardly.

            “Rox, what are you doing?” he asked, and she rolled her eyes.

            “I got paged in to HQ.” The look on her face when she said that was half panicked, half ecstatic.

            “Ah, well. That changes everything. Let’s get you cleaned up. Go do your hair and face, and I will pick out some clothes.”

            “Not after what you pulled last time,” she shook her head but let him in anyway.

            “I’ll be good. But today might be a good day to doll up a bit.”

            “Noted. Fine. But just don’t make me look like a stripper again.” She begged, and closed the bathroom door. He went to her closet and pulled out a cream colored lace dress she had acquired on their trip to Italy, and red shoes. She looked so beautiful in red. He laid out the clothes for her, and waited for her to come back.

            “Here you go. Better?” he asked, and she beamed as she pulled on the dress and the shoes.

            “Much. Thank you.”

            “Good. Let’s go!” He yelled excitedly, and ran off, chasing her down the stairs and out of her home. They jumped in to the car and sped off, both of them laughing, and he didn’t see anything resembling the darkness of the past few days creeping back into her eyes until they were at HQ.

            “What does he even want, did he say?” She asked, toying with the bracelet she wore on her right wrist.

            “No idea, Roxy,” Eggsy said, not bothering to make it not sound like a lie. She gasped a little, turned her head to look at him, her teeth catching her lip.

            “Does he-” She asked and he couldn’t look at her.

            “I’m sorry. I had to tell him.”

            “Eggsy, I can’t.”

            “Go in there. Call me when you can. I’m sorry Roxy.”

            “Don’t be,” She whispered, eyes lighting up, and then she was running. Running through the field where she trained Lady, where he picked up JB even though he wasn’t supposed to, where Eggsy first saw the glint of interest in her eye when she looked at their trainer, and then disappeared in to the double doors.

            “Harry,” Eggsy said, turning on his glasses.

            “Is she on her way?”

            “Yes.”

           

Roxy slowed to a walk and strolled as casually as possible in to Merlin’s office. Harry smiled, and slipped out quietly. She saw him sitting at his desk, looking completely shattered. She looked up at the screen and saw herself, telling Eggsy that she loves Merlin.

            “Merlin, I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to see it,” she began but he just stared at his shoes.

            “How long?”

            “What?”

            “How long have you been feeling this way, and not telling me?”

            “I didn’t always know I was, but to guess I’d say about a month. A long, horrible month.”

            “Two years.”

            “I’m sorry?” she could barely breathe.

            “I have looked at you and known that everything I am, asexual, gay, alone, all of it, didn’t matter because I love you.”

            “You what?”

            “I am in love with you, Roxanne Morton. And I have this feeling that I always will be in love with you.” She caught her breath, and walked toward him, tracing his jawline and tilting his chin up so he was looking at her. She pushed his chair back, making room for her to fall gently into his lap.

            “And if you hadn’t been too busy wallowing to tell me, you’d have realized that I am completely, madly, in love with you, William…What is your last name? I don’t know it.”

            “Roxy…” he sighed impatiently and she squinted at him.

            “Tell me,” she demanded.

            “McCrae.”

            “William McCrae. Very Scottish. Very…hot,” she whispered and he laughed, finally putting his arms around her, and running his hands over her hips slowly.

            “So I love you,” he said, and she smiled.

            “And I love you,” she replied, leaning in slightly. “So are you finally going to kiss me?” she asked and he smiled.

            “I think I can manage that,” he whispered, and then finally, his lips were on hers. He kissed her softly, then nipped at her lower lip. She opened her mouth slightly and suddenly his mouth was fire upon hers, his tongue licking into her mouth gently, and eliciting a high pitched whine from her throat. He eased up, kissing her softly before pulling away to rest his forehead on hers.

            “That was…” She panted, out of breath from the dizzying sensation.

            “Amazing. Yes. I have waited so long to love you. Too long, I have waited for you to look at me like you are looking at me right now.”

            “I know the feeling. What time is it?” she asked abruptly.

            “Almost 2:30, why?”

            “Well, I was thinking why don’t we order in and spend the afternoon here? In your room? Blinds closed?” she whispered enticingly in his ear and he fought back the urge to take her then and there.

            “Blinds open, love. We can stay here, but…blinds open,” he insisted quietly and she nodded. He stood suddenly, pulling her with him, so that he was carrying her in his arms.

            “You’re so strong,” she sighed, and he laughed.

            “Was that a swoon. Miss Morton?”

            “Can you blame me?” she teased and he could only stare at her fondly. He laid her on the bed once they were in the room and she reached for her phone. “I’m going to text Eggsy, ask if he can bring me something more comfortable. I was hoping to talk to you and then get out. I didn’t plan on my dreams coming true today,” she looked adoringly at him, and he leaned in to kiss her again.

            “Go ahead, my love.”

            “What was that?” she asked, and he turned a bit pink.

            “I called you my love, is that alright?”

            “It’s perfect, babe.”

            “Babe?” he looked a bit put off by that, and she laughed.

            “You get a pet name too, William, and I am calling you babe.” He kissed her again, and tugged off his sweater.

            “I thought we were keeping the blinds closed,” she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

            “Oh we are. It’s just roasting in here,” he winked at her, and she took in the sight of him. He wore a light blue t shirt beneath his sweater, and now that the outer layer was gone, she could see the shirt hugging his muscles- muscles she did not know he had.

            “Wow,” she breathed, trying to keep herself together.

            “What?” he asked innocently, but she knew he was all too aware of how good he looked.

            “I just…I’ve been in love with you for awhile, but I never knew you were a stud.”  He laughed and she winked at him.

            “I’m no stud, Roxy.”

            “Liar,” she said, sent a text to Eggsy and then launched herself at him, jumping off the bed towards him and he caught her, pulling her legs around his waist. “See? I jumped, you caught me. I could have fallen.”

            “You will never fall again. You’re my girl now, I will always catch you.”

            “Good,” she whispered and she kissed him sweetly. He placed her on the bed and laid down beside her. “Can I ask you something?”

            “Of course, my love.”

            “So, based on what you told me, I’m so sorry to ask this, but I’m also not sorry; do you want to have sex with me?”

            “So badly,” he said, so quickly he almost cut her off. She laughed and he looked guilty. “I’m sorry, should I have hesitated?” he asked and she shook her head no.

            “Not at all. So I’m the first one- the first woman, the first loving sexual experience, everything. I’m the first.”

            “You are the exception. My exception. My beautiful girl, who I can’t keep my hands off of currently because of the way you are looking at me.”

            “How am I looking at you?” she asked.

            “Like I am your oxygen supply.”

            “You are.”

They lay there looking at each other for awhile, before he pulled her close to him and kissed her deeply, with so much love she almost cried. They continued to kiss each other and lay there, just being together, until a light knock on the door brought them to reality.

            “Eggsy?” Roxy called, and heard the answering giggle. “Come in,” she said, and turned back to look at Merlin, who pulled her in to his lap, probably to show off for Eggsy.

            “How’s the happy couple?” he asked, placing a large duffel bag by the wardrobe.

            “In your debt,” Roxy said quietly and Eggsy leaned in to kiss her on the forehead.

            “I do what I can. So there’s your stuff,” he pointed to the duffel and she lifted herself off Merlin’s lap to change.

            “Thank god. This dress is kind of itchy. And I miss my shorts,” she said, pulling the dress off and Eggsy rushed to clap a hand over Merlin’s eyes.

            “Galahad, I will fight you, I swear,” Merlin growled.

            “And you clearly haven’t seen her naked yet. Not happening today bruv.” Eggsy replied cheerfully while Roxy pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a light green t shirt.

            “Uncover his eyes, you little terror,” she said, and flopped back down on the bed next to Merlin.

            “Do I have to?” he asked, whining a little, and she crawled forward toward Merlin. Not looking at Eggsy, she kissed Merlin, who was still blinded by Eggsy (who let go after Merlin started kissing back enthusiastically) and the two of them laughed at Eggsy’s traumatized expression.

            “That’s what you get when you mess with my girl,” Merlin purred, and Eggsy looked so happy Roxy swore he was going to explode.

            “I’m going to leave. I love you both. Be safe. Merlin, be good to her, please,” Eggsy said, and Merlin nodded.

            “I plan to.” Eggsy left and Roxy turned to Merlin.

            “So what do we do now?”

            “Order Chinese and stay here as long as we want?” he suggested.

            “Sounds good to me.”

            “Good. Nice shorts by the way. Do you always have to look so edible?”

            “I guess I do,” she said coyly, and he pulled her down to lay beside him once more.

            “How did I ever live without you?” he asked and she couldn’t help it, the tears came and spilled over.

            “You never have to again. Don’t, ever again. Please. Because I can’t live without you,” she confessed, crying.

            “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I’m not leaving.”

            “I know. Good.” She pulled back from him to pull her t shirt off and he caught her arms before she could.

            “Roxy, we’re taking it slow. Not tonight, okay?”

            “Okay,” she agreed.

            “Good. Stay here tonight, I’ll order some food, and then we’ll just…be us. Talk and such. Sound alright?”

            “Yes. Definitely. Only, do you mind if we take a moment to define this?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “What are we, exactly, Will? What is this?”

            “You are my girlfriend. You don’t sleep with anyone else, or kiss anyone else, unless its for a mission. And I am your boyfriend. I don’t kiss anyone else or sleep with anyone else unless its absolutely necessary for a mission. And I will never love anyone else.”

            “And I won’t ever love anyone but you. My sweet, sweet William.”

            “Good. Fried rice or chow mein?”

            “Chow mein, please.” She kissed him quickly before he dialed the phone. She leaned back on the pillows and looked at him, completely unable to stop herself from feeling like the luckiest woman in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments appreciated!


	12. All Was Golden In The Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after, and some conversations. Tons of fluff, tons of cheesiness. I haven't updated in awhile, this is my way of getting back on the horse. Let me know what you think, its good to be back!!

“What time is it?” Merlin asked sleepily, feeling Roxy shift beside him.

            “It’s about 10. PM. We slept the day away, after stuffing our faces,” she murmured, kissing his chest lightly, and then sat up, pulling the blanket up around her.

            “What are you doing?” he asked, tugging at the blanket.

            “Covering myself,” she said shyly, and he raised his eyebrows.

            “I know you’re wearing a lovely nightgown under that blanket. You know how I know? Because I bought it for you, and put it in that closet. Now I’d like to see how it looks, please?” He pouted, and she gave in. The nightgown was a light grey spaghetti strap satin ankle length work of art, and she loved it. She pulled back the blanket, and he smiled.

            “Roxy. My love. You are exquisite.”

            “Well, you bought this for me, so I think you’re a bit biased.”

            “If I’m biased its because I’m madly in love with the woman wearing it, not because of the garment itself.”

            “Right of course,” Roxy whispered and kissed Merlin with as much passion as she could muster without climbing on top of him. She cuddled into his chest and was prepared to fall back asleep when the office door slammed open with a bang, and Harry’s voice rang out.

            “Merlin if you’re still cowering in your office you’d better get it together and tell Roxy how you feel, because she’s not answering her door or her phone, and you’ve got poor Eggsy and Janelle worried sick, which, considering their recent engagement is wildly unfair, so really you’re being selfish and just plain stupid-” Harry stopped short when he opened the door to the bedroom where they were curled together, trying not to laugh at his outburst.

            “You were saying?” Roxy asked, in her best sultry voice, wrapping her leg around Merlin’s waist and stroking his chest slowly, looking at Harry with a look that could not have more clearly said “Say something I dare you.”

            “I was saying that I am beyond happy for both of you. Roxy, you should look at your phone. She said yes, and our boy is very excited.”

            “Our boy?” Roxy asked, arching an eyebrow, trying not to be distracted by Merlin’s hand in her hair.

            “You’re best friend, my unofficially adopted son. So yes. Our boy.”

            “Right, thanks for telling me Harry. Send Eggsy in whenever. I would love to see him.”

            “He’s on his way. Might I suggest a shower and some lunch? It’s nearly noon.”

            “Sounds lovely Harry, order us some thai food, yeah? We’re hungry, and we’ll be here until Eggsy shows up, at least,” Roxy pleaded, and Harry fought off the fond smile working its way across his face.

            “Oh, why not? Its not as though you two should go out in public at the moment anyway. Stay here, I’ll have Eggsy bring the food.”

            “Thank you!” Roxy said sweetly as he walked away.

            “You can get anyone to do just about anything, can’t you?” Merlin asked and she smiled.

            “Do you have a problem with that?” she asked, batting her eyelashes, but froze when she saw a shadow cross his face. “You actually…don’t. Do you?” she said hesitantly, suddenly filled with concern.

            “What I just saw with Harry? No. That is fine, wonderful even if you can keep scoring us bedside food delivery. But any farther than that? I think I would have a problem to be honest. I’m not thrilled about you flirting your way through missions, and having to hear it.”

            “Okay, I can understand that. But, what about honeypots? You can’t honestly say that you’ll pull me from them from now on, can you?” She asked timidly, and he wrapped a reassuring arm around her shoulders.

            “Don’t be afraid to ask these things, my love. And no, I’m not pulling you. Of course I won’t prevent you from doing your job. Especially when you are so good at it. I promise. I just don’t want to watch you flirt unnecessarily, alright?” he soothed her, rubbing her shoulders gently, and she leaned against him.

            “Alright darling. Anything else we should talk about?” she asked playfully, but he stilled and she turned in his arms.

            “I’d like to wait,” he said quietly, turning scarlet.

            “What?” she asked, not sure she knew what he was talking about.

            “To be…intimate. I’d like to wait, for awhile.”

            “That’s fine. That is more than fine. Really. I was half in love with you before I realized I wasn’t just in to girls anymore any way. The way I feel when I look at you, it has never been about sex. I love you. With all of me.”

            “And I love you. So damn much, Roxanne,” he said, and kissed her gently.

            “I’m glad we are talking about this,” she sighed and snuggled into his chest. He laughed softly and kissed the top of her head.

            “Me too. Just to be clear, I don’t want you to think I’d be opposed to you moving in with me. Eventually, of course, not now.”

            “Of course. Although how I’m going to live with you and not jump you as soon as you walk through the door, I do not know.”

            “We’ll think of something.”

            “Good.”

            “Oh look, here comes trouble,” Merlin said quietly in her ear, gesturing at Eggsy sauntering in to the office, an idiotic grin on his face, arms full of takeout bags.

            “ Indeed,” she said as Eggsy burst through the door without knocking.

            “How did you get here so fast? With food?”

            “I was already on my way over, I know I need food after the night I’ve had, figure you guys could also use some fuel,” Eggsy winked lasciviously at them and Roxy rolled her eyes.

            “Thank you Eggsy. I hear congratulations are in order!” she cheered, giving him a cheesy grin.

            “Yes, indeed. Finally popped the question. Which brings me to my question for you- do you guys maybe want to not tell people about your relationship until the engagement party?”

            “What, don’t want me stealing your thunder?” Roxy asked coldly and Eggsy raised an eyebrow.

            “Don’t be silly, Rox. Please. Wait until the party, share the glory, after I say my piece, I will get you two up in front of our friends and you can tell them all about this. You know everyone is going to be over the moon for you guys, right?”

            “I suppose we have kept them waiting. Sound good to you babe?” she asked between bites of curry.

            “Sounds wonderful, darling,” he purred, running a hand through her hair. She giggled and leaned into the welcoming touch, and Eggsy decided it was time for him to grab a carton of chow mein and bolt. Before he did he hugged Roxy and whispered in her ear

            “You’ll wear white to the party. Remind him of weddings, drive him mad. I’ll take you shopping when you can get off him long enough to walk by yourself.” And then he was gone almost as quickly as he had arrived.

            “Do you just know how to get him to go away?” Merlin asked and Roxy laughed.

            “It’s a talent. One I’m not proud of. I love him dearly, but this is new. I want to spend all of my days with you. I’m afraid I’ll never get enough.”

            “I completely agree. God, I’ve spent all night and day talking about how utterly infatuated with you I am, what has gotten in to me?” he groaned and she kissed him to shut him up.

            “I don’t mind. Really.” She laid down next to him and felt herself getting tired.

            “You sleepy?” he asked.

            “Yeah I’m feeling lazy today. Eating way too much food and now going back to sleep. I’ll be out of shape by tomorrow,” she mumbled. He looked her in the eye and she saw nothing but adoration.

            “You are beautiful, as you are, any way you are. That being said, if you want to go on a run with me later, I’d like that very much. Its lovely out, and we can push each other to be better.”

            “You want to help me beat my personal best?” she asked, eyes brightening at the thought of a physical challenge.

            “You are my personal best,” he said, and she fought back tears once more.

            “Mine too.” And she kissed him. He pulled her in to the crook of his arm and continued to kiss her gently. She attempted to turn it into a steamy make out session out of habit, but he stopped her, returning the kisses to a loving, calming tone until they passed out in each other’s arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and constructive criticism welcome :)


	13. Red, White, Blue's in the skies, Summer's In The Air Baby, and Heaven is in Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a long one. Merlin takes advantage of the fact that they have a few days before everyone knows about them.

"Merlin, when you have a moment, I'd like to see you in my office. Rather urgent, I'm afraid," Harry's voice came unexpectedly over the intercom mere moments after Roxy had left with Eggsy in pursuit of misadventures.

"She's gone Harry, and I've got work to do, you can come to me," he said bitterly, his headache over Gawain's latest routine destruction of equipment worsening by the minute. He wished Roxy was there with him. He knew immediately how selfish that was, given that she had just left after spending most of two days with him consecutively, and he knew she needed time with her friends, but he couldn’t help himself. Even her presence made him feel better. He had limited time to dwell on his irritation before Harry strode in the room, looking like nothing short of the grim reaper.

"Christ, Hart, who died?" He asked, testing the waters. Harry had the tendency to be a drama queen, but in their line of work, there was no such thing as being too careful.

"Me, possibly, when I tell you what I just dealt with."

"Oh no. Out with it, then make us both a drink."

"Right. Well, we've got an art thievery, personal collection of some millionaire. It’s the man's mistress who's trying to steal it, we've been personally hired."

"This is hardly a matter of national importance, Arthur, just turn him down."

"It is actually, he's under our protection. He's hiding works that the Nazis took possession of, his father stole it back for our country. It is crucial that both he, and his collection, remain unharmed."

"Alright. Fair enough, so why do you look like that?"

"The mistress, it turns out, is in it only for the money. She's not attracted to him in the slightest. He is decidedly not her type."

"Sending her some new meat then? Afraid she'll eat up your white knight? Eggsy can handle her, mate, don’t worry."

"He's not her type, because he's a he. Which means there's only one agent currently qualified to distract this woman and take her out. I'm so sorry Merlin, but that’s the way these things go." Merlin could hear the blood rushing through his veins. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before he could look at Harry again.

"Harry, I just got her back. Fuck, I just got her, period. We just now figured it all out. And that was only because she got injured. I can’t send her out there again, I can't." Merlin was adamant, but Harry could only rest a warm hand on his shoulder and attempt to reassure him.

"I'm sorry Merlin, the party is next Friday, she's hoping to get away with the art out the back while all attention is on the event. It's in Kent, I'll send her right to you, you can have that night off. Stay home, make sure to have some dinner prepared for her, take care of yourself. But I can't have you in her ear for this, I just can't," Harry said calmly, and Merlin nodded to show that he understood, and, although he would rather have debated the issue, reluctantly agreed. He was in no state to guide her through sleeping with a woman while this was still such a point of insecurity for him.

"Okay. Page her In, we'll tell her together, then we'll deal with this."

"If you insist, but I'll have you know, she's going to take this better than you," Harry smirked and Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Oh shut up old man," he grumbled, then finished his drink in one go. He would need all the help he could get getting through this nightmare.

****  
  


"What about this one?" Eggsy asked skeptically, pulling yet another hideous white dress off the rack.

"I swear, Eggsy, you're not even being picky anymore, as long as its white you're willing to parade me around in it," Roxy sighed tiredly, arms already full of the less horrible options.

"Kinda. So sue me, I'm happy for ya."

"And I appreciate it. But just give it a rest yeah? Let me try some of these on before you jump straight to the wedding section and put me in a dress that looks like a cupcake," she pleaded and he grinned.

"Suit yerself, I'll go with ya, see how everything looks," he scampered after her and she couldn’t help but smile fondly. He really was a good friend, if a little over eager. She slipped in to the fitting room and zipped herself in to her favorite of the giant pile of white that had been forced upon her. It was beautiful, short sleeved lace with a sweetheart neckline, and an a-line skirt that hit her mid thigh. The best part about it, to her, was that it was a subtle form of rebellion- in contrast with the startling white of Eggsy's favorite selections, this was a soft ivory. She walked out of the room and heard Eggsy gasp.

"Forget everything I said, that's the one," he said solemnly, before instructing her to twirl. She did and he smiled proudly. "That is the one, Rox, swear on me dad."

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "That's a bit grim, don’t you think?"

"Whatever, it's gorgeous, let's get it, come on, put your jeans on, and let's go!"

"Keep your shirt on, you child, this was your idea!" She laughed and obliged, pulling her jeans and t shirt back on and abandoning the heap of white behind. "I don't feel like putting it back, I know that’s awful, but I can't seem to care."

"Eh, just don't tell Harry. Make sure to let me take the dress home so no one but me sees it before the big day, yeah?"

"You and your plans. He already loves me as I am, you can stop scheming."

"I ain't done planning until you're halfway down the aisle," he said seriously and she rolled her eyes, and paid for the dress, giving him the 30 second silent treatment in order for him to ponder what he just said.

"Here, take the dress. Thank you by the way," she said, and he put an arm around her.

"You are absolutely welcome, Rox." She leaned into him, realizing how the two days they had spent apart had felt like years, and was about to tell him how much she had missed him, when a siren sound erupted from her phone. Eggsy jumped and looked at her with a scandalized expression.

"Sorry, it's my ringtone for HQ, it's got to be Merlin," and although she knew it meant going back to work, the prospect of hearing from him made her smile.

"Oh no. Back out in the field?" Eggsy asked anxiously, and she checked the message.

"I don't know, Merlin says he and Harry need to see me immediately. Probably a mission briefing. I've got to go, come with me?" She asked and he nodded. They found a Kingsman vehicle waiting for them outside the shop already, and Eggsy gave instructions for the dress to be dropped off at his home without the two of them as they sped off towards headquarters.

"They wouldn’t send you back out so soon. And by they, I mean Merlin. He's not letting you go anytime soon, hate to tell you."

"If he and Harry want to see me, Harry probably didn’t give him a choice, unfortunately. I just don't want to see Merlin upset, if I'm truthful."

"I know. I can go with you, if you'd like."

"No, I'll be fine. Hang back, though, and hang out with Merlin after I've left, in case they're shipping me out right away."

"Of course." And then they fell silent. They arrived at headquarters, and Roxy, nervous as Eggsy had ever seen her, bolted from the care and in to Merlin's office.

"You wanted to see me?" She asked breathlessly, and Harry nodded, offering her a seat. She didn’t take it, preferring instead to sink in to Merlin's lap, and he put his arms around her protectively. "This okay?" She asked Harry, who smiled.

"Of course it is, Roxy, probably better actually, in light of what I have to tell you. We're sending you in to the field, next Friday."

"Next Friday? It's a week away, why is this an emergency?," she said incredulously.

"The nature of the mission, given recent developments, is delicate," Harry said carefully, and Merlin's arms tightened around Roxy.

"Elaborate, please, as it appears we don't have a lot of time."

"A man who is protecting a collection of art his father stole from the Nazis is in danger. His mistress is intending to steal the art and possibly kill him during a gala event next week, which is being held at his estate in Kent."

"And I'm to stop her, I see where this is going. Easy, I'll be ready. Don’t scare me like that Harry, it isn't gentlemanly," she smiled coyly at him and made to stand, but Merlin eased her back down.

"She's pretending to love him. She is interested in women, as it turns out. You are to seduce and then murder her. In her chambers, where our friend cannot be framed for the death of his mistress. We will have witnesses placing him at the party entertaining guests while you work," Harry said, looking apologetic and ashamed. And Roxy understood.

"A honeypot?"she asked, looking at Merlin. He looked exceedingly miserable.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispered and she inhaled his warm enticing scent, committing it to memory.

"I'm to seduce this woman?" She asked, just for clarification.

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll do it," she conceded, kissing Merlin chastely, and Harry laughs in surprise.

"That was easier than we anticipated."

"This is my job, Harry, I'll never say no. But you take care of him okay?" She asked and Harry nodded.

"Of course I will, Lancelot," he said. "I'll go tell Eggsy there's no immediate danger, shall I?"

"Thank you Harry, yes, do calm him down," Roxy teased as Harry walked out of the room. She looked at Merlin to see him still looking unhappy, and she couldn't help herself. She leaned in and kissed him soundly, trying to convey what he wouldn’t believe if she said it with words- that she loved him, just him, and no one else.

"Better?" She asked, and he pretended to think about it.

"Much. I'm still not happy about it, but then, I've got to get used to it haven't I? I will not be the man that stands between the woman he loves and her job. I'm not that kind of man. You do not deserve that kind of man," he assured her, and she could hardly believe what she was hearing.

"I don't think you're that kind of man at all. You love me, and I love you, and with that there will come some jealousies and some painful moments, that's the nature of the job. But I can't regret it, because if I hadn't gotten the job, then I would never have met you, and then my life would be empty."

"Mine too, baby. Mine too. And you know, as a silver lining, we know its happening in a week, and we have a whole weekend before anyone finds out. I was thinking we make the most of it?" He suggested and she bit her lip in anticipation.

"What did you have in mind?" She asked excitedly, and he laughed at her childlike enthusiasm.

"Maybe just a weekend at my place? That's what couples do, isnt it?" He asked, now looking a bit lost. She giggled and shook her head a bit.

"Yes, darling, that's what couples do. Usually. But, well, I don't want to rush things, like we agreed, but I'm afraid if we don’t have something specific planned, I'm going to want to pin you to the bed and not let you leave while I have my way with you. So maybe something a bit more involved than 'weekend at your place'. If that’s okay with you?"

"I see your point, I think you make an excellent point. Tell me, what do you know about American holidays?"

"Not much, why do you ask?"

"Tomorrow is July 4th, and I've got a private jet. How do you feel about Fireworks?"

The jet engines blew her hair in haphazard swirls around her. Serves me right for curling my hair for once Roxy thought bitterly as she navigated the stairs, her inability to see, and her ridiculously high heels. She was proud of herself for finding an outfit appropriate for the occasion that she managed to not hate, but maybe the American flag pumps were a step too far. Once on board, she smoothed the wind-made wrinkles out of her navy blue and white polka dot dress, accepted a glass of champagne from the attendant, and waited for Merlin. She had been waiting about ten minutes when he wandered out of the cockpit and his jaw dropped.

"I thought the point of this was to avoid temptation?"

"Temptation doesn't have to lead to the bedroom, Merlin, you should know that better than anyone."

"I suppose so. You look amazing by the way."

"As do you. Casual suits you," she smiled flirtatiously, appreciating the way his jeans hugged his legs, and the way his arms looked in his tight blue button down.

"Thank you, lass. We'll be landing in about eleven hours, so if you need to rest, you can."

"Thank you, Merlin, but I'd rather talk to you than sleep," she said, patting the seat next to her invitingly. He obliged and took her hand.

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked, and she shrugged.

"I mean, I know a lot about you, and you know a lot about me, but not a lot of basic stuff. Let's talk about that maybe," she said timidly.

"Of course. Don’t be nervous, Roxy, what do you want to know?"

"Okay, what is your favorite...everything? What is your favorite everything? Music, movies, shows, food, song, color, car, mission, everything. Tell me your favorites," she asked and he laughed.

"Alright. Well, I love spanish cuisine. Did my first mission there, took down an elaborate cartel, it took me about three months. I came back with a new taste for the cuisine, a tan, and a boyfriend. The tan faded, the boyfriend was an arse, but the food was exquisite. I don't watch much TV, so I don't really have a favorite show and I haven't seen a movie in quite a few years, but my favorite is probably The Sting. I love that espionage ideal of two friends who can lie to anyone except each other. Honor amongst thieves and all that."

"Of course. You're so sweet, you know that? I mean, of course you're bad ass, and a wonderful assassin and quartermaster, but mostly, you are a sweet man."

"I'm afraid my music tastes will only confirm that theory of yours," he said, blushing furiously.

"Tell me," she said leaning forward slightly as though he was about to tell her a secret.

"I'm a sucker for anything by Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra," he confessed, and she laughed.

"You're lucky I'm an old soul. I had Sway stuck in my head for weeks after you taught us seduction techniques."

"I heard you humming it. If I hadn't already been half in love already, that would have done it right then and there."

"I'm sure."

"And my favorite color, by the way, is plum. The richest shade of purple. Its lovely," he said after a sip of champagne.

"My favorite is quickly becoming to color of that shirt, my favorite movie is Kill Bill, and I'm a fan of classic rock mostly. Old vinyl collection of my dad's. I was hooked from day one, although I do appreciate the great jazz artists," she said giving him a knowing wink.

"Of course you do. Anything else you want to know?"

"That about covers everything I feel like I need to know about you. How about you?"

"Yes, actually, but I hate to ask," he said, and she grasped his hand in hers.

"Ask me, my love." It was a quiet demand and he obliged.

"I know you are interested in women, but I was wondering, have you been with a man? Outside of honey pots I mean."

"I haven't," she said quietly. "I haven't been interested in any man before you," she clarified, and he smiled.

"Is it wrong that I'm relieved?"

"Not at all, darling," she assured him and he kissed her lovingly until they both needed to break for air. "So where exactly is it that we'll be watching the fireworks from?"

"We land at Huntington Beach. Then we board the yacht and head out to sea. And that is from where we will be watching the fireworks."

"A yacht? Are you serious?"

"Of course. I only want you to have the best," he said and kissed her again.

"Please do not become my sugar daddy," she whispered desperately, and he laughed.

"That is most certainly not what this is about." With that, she curled up against him and they fell silent. "It's going to be cold on the yacht, you know," he said softly.

"I'm underdressed, you've got to warn a girl about these things," she complained playfully, and he chuckled.

"You're lucky I have something for you to wear," he said quietly, and she rolled her eyes.

"One of these days you're going to let me spoil you as much as you spoil me," she sighed. Her eyes were closing of their own volition. "I think the champagne made me sleepy, im going to rest, if that's alright. Wake me before we land?"

"Of course, baby. Sleep well, and dream of me, if you can," he joked, kissing her forehead. She looked up at him through tired eyes before drifting off.

"I'll dream of us."

It seemed only seconds had passed until Merlin was kissing her awake, but apparently it had been nine hours, because she could feel the plane descending as her lips moved gently against his.

"Best way to wake up," she sighed dreamily. He smiled fondly at her, with a look in his eyes that turned her brain to jelly. It was not a look of lust, like she had experienced with most men. It was love, like she was a precious diamond and a warrior woman and fragile glass all at once. She loved it. She loved him for looking at her that way, and she loved herself for being worthy of the kind of man he was. She stared back in to his eyes and knew that she had never been so happy in her whole life.

"That's a really good argument for us living together you know," he said cheekily, and she grinned.

"Someday, darling. What time is it?"

"Almost 7. The sun will be going down in an hour, the fireworks begin in another hour. Its got to be completely dark," he explained and she nodded, half listening as she gazed out the window at the view of the ocean. "There is a shower on the yacht, as well as your outfit for tonight. I've arranged dinner for us as well. We'll land in about 20 minutes, will that be enough time?"

"You ask as though you'd turn back the clock if I said no. Luckily, my answer is yes, and I will be taking advantage of the shower. Sleeping in the middle of the day makes me feel gross," she explained.

"I know," he said softly, pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head.

"You can join me if you'd like," she said boldly, and he gave her a chastising look. "Not for any naughty purposes, I promise. Just so we can get to know each other's bodies. We don’t have to have sex of course, and I feel like I can keep my hands off your bits long enough to wash my hair. It just feels odd that I haven't seen you naked."

"I suppose I know what you mean. Okay we can try It. But we have to agree right here and now that if it is too much, we stop with no hard feelings," he said firmly, and she nodded understandingly.

"Yes, of course"

"Good." He held her tightly while they landed, and then they practically sprinted together to the dock and on to the yacht the second the pilot descended the stairs.

"Help me with my dress?" Roxy asked, and he unzipped the dress to let it fall at her feet. She stepped out of it and ditched the shoes and her underthings. "I'll be in the shower, come join me when you're ready." He heard the spray, and took a few deep breaths. You can back out safely he reminded himself before walking into the small bathroom and then into the shower. There was no denying that she was stunning, he thought to himself, and if he could maybe just focus on her then he wouldn't feel so hideously exposed. She seemed to be thinking the same thing. She ran her hands up his arms, over his shoulders and down his back, as though confirming that he was real.

"Roxy," he breathed and she froze.

"Too much?" She asked, but he shook his head and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Just, saying your name," he said shyly, and she kissed him. "Would you like me to wash your hair?"

"Oh that would be lovely, please do." She handed him the bottle of shampoo, and he set to work massaging her scalp while running the lather through her long hair. She leaned in to the touch and he responded by massaging her head and neck until his fingers cramped. She moved to run the water over both of them and turned to face him. "That was lovely, thank you."

"You're most welcome," he replied fondly, kissing her as the water warmed them up.

"That was almost like being kissed in the rain," she observed and he laughed.

"I suppose it was," he conceded. "I'm getting out now, before I spend anymore time looking at your beautiful chest."

"We did it though, didn't we?" She cheered, doing a little happy dance that really only made his predicament worse, but at this point he didn't care.

"We did indeed, lass," he laughed and turned to grab a towel. She peered through the glass to watch him and couldn't help but appreciate the view. She wasn't sure when she developed appreciation for men's bodies, but his had to be the best, probably in the world, in Roxy's opinion. He turned back around to hand her a towel, and caught her expression. "Like what you see, do you?" He asked, suddenly very shy and she bit her lip teasingly.

"Very much yes. Maybe we should change in separate rooms?" She asked, nervously fiddling with turning the water off and wrapping the towel around herself.

"Probably. I'll show you to the room where your clothes are waiting, then I will meet you on the upper deck, alright?"

"Alright," she said, and followed him down a short hallway to her room. She understood why he didn't, but she was a little sad when he didn't kiss her before closing the door. Oh well. She dried her hair as best she could with the towel before she found the hair dryer in her travel kit. Once her hair was dry and she finished her makeup (which was obligatory, because yacht) then she opened the garment back that had been tempting her since she saw it. The gown was floor length, it was red chiffon scoop neck, and it was beautiful. She managed to navigate the layers without much difficulty, and fell in love with the way it flowed around her. She pulled her shoes on and hurried gracelessly to the upper deck to find him already waiting for her. They were well on their way out to sea now, the sky was darkening, and there was a lovely dinner laid out for them on a small candlelit table.

"This would normally be way too cheesy for me," she said, "But I have decided to make an exception."

"You know, for being a dangerous spy, you do wear an awful lot of beautiful flowy dresses. Highly impractical for the job." He was teasing, but his eyes betrayed how in awe of her he was.

"You know as well as I do how bad an idea it is to mix business and pleasure," she said coyly, sitting down in the chair he pulled out for her before taking the seat across from her.

"I think it's a little late for that, don't you?" He asked, pouring her a glass of wine.

"That's why I'm so determined to distinguish what is business, and what is pleasure. And this, my love, is most certainly pleasure."

"Glad we agree on that," he raised a glass in a toast. "To pleasure," he said in a low voice that warmed her all over.

"To pleasure," she agreed, and sipped the wine. It was good, he had excellent taste. They ate in silence for awhile, enjoying the sea breeze and each others company for a few quiet moments. She wanted to tell him how happy she was that they could be silent together without any awkwardness, but to do so would break the comfortable stillness, so she said nothing until dinner was cleared away and he was leading her to the railing .

"I love the ocean," he said quietly.

"Me too. Always have," she said, looking down at the water. She stared until she could see a reflection of a burst of light, and looked up just in time to hear the distant bang on a firework being lit and launched in to the night. She grinned at Merlin excitedly, and he wrapped his arms around her as they watched the sky light up above them. The show was marvellous, but Roxy couldn't help but stare in to his eyes. They were heavenly, and the way they shone just for her was incredible. He caught her staring, and said, "You can look at me for the rest of your life, this is the good part," and she followed to where he was pointing. The sky was black for a second and then all was glittering red, white, blue and gold, like every firework ever produced had been launched from a cannon.

"That's amazing!" She gasped, and he pulled her to him,

"I'm glad you think so. Happy fourth of July Roxanne," he whispered in her ear.

"Happy fourth of July, William," she replied breathlessly, and then, with the sky alight behind them, he pulled her in for a passionate kiss that made her legs weak. This, she thought, this was heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments/constructive criticism welcome :)


	14. Chapter 13- Ain't She Something Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin wishes to tell Roxy's parental figure before they tell everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated, as are ideas and things you'd like to see happen between the love birds, I might also write some Eggsy/Janelle smut for the sexy chapter fic, which can be found on my page as well :)Let me know what you guys like!

"So I 'm thinking maybe we should tell someone before the engagement party," Merlin said slowly while they watched Eggsy's takedown of a Russian arms deal. 

"Did you have anyone specific in mind, or can you just not keep a secret for another 15 hours?" Roxy asked, an eyebrow raised in a graceful arch.

"I di d indeed have someone in mind. But I'd ask you to hear me out before you argue, which, knowing you, you will do so adamantly."

"Don’t be so judgy, darling, who do you want to tell? I'll bet money that I won't object in the slightest."

"Percival deserves to know before the others," Merlin said and she groaned.

"Damned if I don't owe you money. Why, Merlin, why?" She asked in  despair.

"Because he is the closest thing you have to a father, and as the last remaining man who your father was good friends with, he is the only person qualified to give a father's blessing," Merlin explained as patiently as possible. 

"Father's blessing? That's quite archaic, Merlin, I 'm not sure I'm on board with that."

"I figured as much, and normally I wouldn’t be either, but I'm an older man, Roxy. You were  m y student, and I just want to establish with everyone that we are doing nothing wrong. And if that includes assurance from your father figure that he isn't going to poison my coffee, then I 'll take it."

"Fair enough. We'll tell him together, I don’t want to hide from anyone how much I love you."

"There is also that. You're dream is coming true- you can brag about the fact that you're dating a studly Naval captain even earlier than you thought," he teased, and she turned her head downward to look at him so fast she could feel her neck objecting.

"You were a Naval captain?" She asked abruptl y. "Why do I not know this?"

"I thought you did, do we really need to do this now?"

"What years did you serve and do you still have the uniform, that's all I care about," she replied 

C heekily. 

"I served in  t he 80's and early 90's, saw limited combat but when I did I  was fairly decisively victorious, not much to tell really, and yes I still have it. To answer your follow up question, it still fits."

"Prove it," she challenged playfully, and he smiled mischiev ously , reaching out to embrace her. She leaned toward him but yelped in surprise when he yanked her into his lap and kissed her neck.

"Maybe someday. I finished my tour, no discharge, honorable or otherwise, and I 'm decorated. So at the very least you'll see it at the wed ding."

"You're wearing that to Eggsy and Janelle's wedding?"

"No, I don’t wear it as a guest. I'll wear it to ours, though."

"Ours? Our wedding? Are you proposing?" She gasped, taken aback and not entirely sure what to say.

"Heavens no. Not yet. But I will. And I don't believe I'm off base in assuming you will say yes, when the day comes. But we can talk  later," he said calmly, pressing a few buttons on  the tablet in front of him, looking away from her.

"I'd say yes," she whispered, and he looked up at her once more.

"Really?" He asked, sounding surprised.

"Of course. But more on that, you know, when the time comes." 

"Of course," he agreed, unable to keep a smile off his face. 

"So yes, telling Percival, soon. When?" She asked and he looked away.

"He's on his way down here," Merlin mumbled and she turned scarlet and stood up from his lap to straighten her blouse and jeans and stand at attention. He stared at her, murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "well alright then," and returned to his work. She had apparently righted herself just in time, because Percival walked through the door shortly after.

"Merlin, you wanted to see me?" He asked, before taking notice of Roxy. "Roxy, relaxe, it's me! Its good to see you, dear girl, how are you?"

"I'm well, Percival, how are you?" She asked a little more stiffly than usual but he didn’t seem to notice.

"I'm alright, just coming down here to see what the recluse wanted," he joked, and Merlin stood calmly.

"Actually, Ronald, it's about Roxy," he said and Percival's eyes widened. Merlin never used first names unless it was serious, and it was in relation to his Goddaughter. 

"Is everything alright?" He asked and Merlin and Roxy both laughed lightly.

"Yes, everything is fine," Roxy assured him. "Merlin and I just want to tell you something before word gets out too quickyl," she said, taking Merlin's hand in hers.

"Roxy and I are together. We are very much in love."

"I know. I mean the love part, I'm glad you finally figured it out."

"We are too," Roxy said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Roxy," Percival said seriously, "I'd like to speak to you alone," he said and Merlin, ever the gentleman, got up and left.

"What is it? You could have said it in front of him, you know, I trust him with all my heart."

"I know that, Roxanne. I can tell. But if Merlin was intimidated enough by me to feel like he had to ask my permission, well, that'd be a first, and I'd quite like to enjoy it."

"That's mean," she admonished. "But I understand," she conceded and he smiled warmly at her.

"What I wanted to say is that I have known for awhile how you feel about him and I think that not only do I approve and encourage whatever life the two of you want together, that your father would also be exceedingly proud of the choices you have made," he told her and she beamed at him.

"Thank you Percival. Now let's go retrieve Merlin before he has a heart attack, shall we?" she laughed and he nodded.

"Yes, let's. I don't want him thinking I'm plotting his murder," he agreed and she rolled her eyes and walked out in to the hall. Merlin was standing tensely against the wall, biting his lip. His eyes lit up when he saw her and before he could say a word, her lips were on his, kissing away the sting of nervously chewing his lips during their conversation. 

"Everything is fine. Don't you worry, darling. Now let's go, I've got a few hours to spend with you before our secret isn't hours anymore," she whispered sweetly and he took her hand and followed her down the hall and in to the small train car.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked curiously and she grinned.

"My place. And I didn't want to wait the long drive from headquarters to get there."

"Understandable. Got plans for me, have you?"

"All kinds of plans," she whispered and he grinned, pulling her in for a kiss.

"I can't wait," he sighed in her ear and she leaned into him, eager for what she had in store for them both. 


	15. Chapter 14- You Can Feel It In The Silence, You Can Feel It On The Way Home, You Can See It With The Lights Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The engagement party. YAY.

Merlin suspected that if he and Roxy were the type of couples to engage in inappropriate levels of PDA, this would be the moment when they would be stripping each other's clothes off as they got out of the car and stumbled  in to  the house. But they weren't that type of couple at all, and so clothes stayed on and Roxy tried to keep her hands steady as she unlocked the door. Upon trying the door, however, she discovered that the door was unlocked already.

"I locked it before I left I swear," she whispered, barely audibly in Merlin's ear and he immediately pulled Roxy gently but firmly behind him. She kicked herself for wanting to clutch on to him, and therefore refused to do so despite how scared she actually was. Not for herself, really, but Merlin was officially in the line of fire. She felt him breathe in deeply, and she inhaled in sync with him, kissing the back of his neck in encouragement, and then he pushed open the door.

"What the hell..." They both murmured at the sight in front of them. 

"Eggsy!" Roxy admonished, nearly yelling at her best friend, who was standing in her living room, with Janelle, the two of them ironing a navy blue suit and a white shirt, while Janelle rifled through a large collection of ties.

"Oh! Hey Roxy, how are ya?" He asked cheerfully, and she stared at him blankly.

"How am I? Terrified! You left the door unlocked, and scared me and Merlin half to death!"

"Ohh yeah, sorry about that. We had work to do," Eggsy said proudly, gesturing at the colossal mess that was her house.

"I can see that. What exactly is all this?" She asked, and Janelle smiled at her.

"It's Merlin's outfit for the party. Our men have to look amazing don't they?" She flashed  Eggsy  a smile and winked at Roxy conspiratorially. 

"Right, well, as important as all of this undoubtedly is, Merlin and I were just about to-"

"Come with us," Janelle finished. "You are coming with us. Eggsy, you take Roxy back to our place, I'm staying here with Merlin, and we will see you at the party. 6:00 remember darling?" She said pointedly at Eggsy, who, Roxy realized with a smile, would indeed forget the time of his own engagement party if not reminded at least twice every hour.

"Yes, I remember. Come along, Rox, no time to waste, say your goodbyes and let's be off!" He practically dragged her out  of the house, barely stopping for her to kiss Merlin quickly before her shoulder protested against Eggsy's tugging and she gave in and followed him.

"Why the theatrics, I have to ask?" She sighed once they were at Eggsy's place.

"You're going to get ready here, so he can see you at the party. It's like what Janelle and I are doing. We wanted to wait for the big reveal."

"Oh Eggsy, don't you know that only applies to the wedding day, not the engagement party?"

"Hush, you. We wanted it to be special. Plus, this way, it's kind of like we are giving each other away. We get these last few moments to spend together before people start thinking of us as part of a pair, instead of  Eggsy  and Roxy."

"That's...weirdly sweet,  Eggsy ," she smiled and he pulled her in for a hug.

"No one can replace you. I know you don't think of it that way, and I know it doesn’t need to be said, but, it kind of does. You're still my number one girl," he assured her and she leaned in to the comforting arms of her best friend. 

"You're still the most important man in my life. Don't tell Merlin," she joked and Eggsy grinned, pulling away from the embrace to grab her garment bag and hand it to her.

"I will. Every chance I get. Don't worry."

"You're going to get me in so much trouble, I swear. Where's my bra?" She asked, looking around for the strapless undergarment the dress required. Eggsy replied by throwing it at her head and turning around so she could change. She did so quickly, and Eggsy handed her a pair of black lace heels.

"These are from Janelle. She knows more about these things than I do, and said they would be perfect with your gold jewelry. I don't know what she's talking about half the time, but, then, I'm not supposed to, I have accepted this."

"Glad to know you are m ore evolved than most men," Roxy teased and pulled on the heels. "How do I look?" And she spun around, looking lighter on her feet than she had in awhile.

"Amazing. Help me with my tie, will you?"  Eggsy  had donned a slate gray suit with a lavender tie and teal pocket square. He looked like a model in the spring issue of vogue.

"Yeah of course," she said, retying the silk around his neck so that it didn’t look like such a disaster.

"We've got time, what do you want to do for the next hour?"

"Let's go take selfies in the park?" She suggested, and he hurried to pull his shoes on and they raced out the door.

"Why on earth are we doing this, again?" Merlin asked as Janelle held up different tie options.

"For the big dramatic moment! It's going to be beautiful,  Eggsy  and I, and you and Roxy, the couples won't have seen each other before the party, trust me, it's all very romantic."

"That's the wedding day, Janelle," Merlin explained gently.

"Well, this will be romantic too," she insisted, handing him a blue and white houndstooth tie to go with his navy blue suit.

"I suppose. What do you think they're doing now?" He asked, fiddling with his  cuff links .

"I haven’t the foggiest. You know them. Unstoppable, those two."

"Don't I know it. I'm impressed with how well you handle Eggsy's closest friend being a beautiful woman," he commented, and Janelle laughed.

"I do my best. I think she looks at me more than she does him, so be honest. That's not hard for you though, the two of them being so close?"

"As you so eloquently put it, I 'll be more worried when the two of you start sneaking off together," he replied with a grin.

"I know you're joking, but I can't make any promises. She's quite amazing." Merlin shook his head slightly, his smile never fading.

"I don't mean this in any way that might offend you, my dear, but I can assure you that you have no idea," he said softly, and Janelle grinned.

"I'm sure I don’t. I'm going to get dressed. Meanwhile, you should think of what you are going to say at the party when we call you up on stage. They're going to want a speech, and she's going to remember it for a really long time. Make sure you're ready, because the second I get changed, we are leaving! " And with that she had clos ed the bathroom door behind her. 

The fact that  Roxy had insisted on being at Janelle's parents' house exactly at six was ma king Eggsy's life complicated, at best. For o ne thing, even though they had always been welcoming and had volunteered to host the party in their  rather lavish garden, he felt awkward being there without her. Then there was Roxy's nerves to contend  with. 

" Eggsy , they're not even here yet, what i f something's wrong?" Roxy anxiously tapped her fingers against her leg , her jitters coming off her in waves. 

"Janelle takes longer than the average woman to get ready, don't worry Rox," he assured her, and handed her a glass of champ agne. "Sip that like a lady, don't you dare chug that or you won't get another," he  admonished her firmly and she gave him a look but was inwardly thankful for the reminder, and for something to do with her hands. 

"They'd better be here soon," she grumbled, then put a smile on her face and sipped her champagne.

"Roxy, you' re hogging the groom!" Gawain  joked, coming over  to shake Eggsy's hand.

"Well, seeing as Janelle has yet to appear and I  am his best friend, I thought he'd like the company," she replied testily, smile still firmly in place. He raised his eyebrows at h er and Eggsy pretended not to be in the room as Gawain was preparing an impressive retort. However, they were spared any further awkwardness by a gasp, and soft applause from the rest of the guests. Rox y  and  Eggsy  turned and their jaws dropped.

Coming  down the garden steps arm in arm, were Janelle and Merlin. Eggsy was practically drooling over Janelle in her red chiffon  dress,  but Roxy and Merlin could only see each other. How it had only been h ours since they had last seen each other, Roxy did not know, but it felt like she was seeing him in a whole new light somehow, in his perfectly tailore d navy blue suit  and ivory dress shirt, smiling at her like he had never smiled before. When they were  at last face to face, Merlin handed Janelle  over to  Eggsy  and took both of Roxy's hands in his.  He barely contained himself from kissing her senseless, but k new that soon enough their time would come. Janelle clinked a butter knife against her glass softly  to quiet the room so  Eggsy  could speak.

"Thank you, everyone, for being here. It has been a  long few years bringing us to this moment, but I am happy to say that everyone I  love most in the world is here to celebrate our love with us. Even some who I didn't think would make it," he winked at Harry,  who smiled his trademark crooked smile and  bowed his head slightly. "This kind of happiness does not take one  person, or even two. It takes the support and caring hands of everyone i n our lives who helped us and were there for us to remind us all of what is important.  I cannot say how happy I am to be marrying this beautiful woman  before me. Janelle, you are everything I have ever dreamed of, and without you, I would not be the man I am today ," he kissed her sweetly and then turned to Roxy and Merlin.  "And now, I believe if you will indulge him for a moment, one of my closest friends and my teach er, Merlin would like to say a few words," he said and whispered  don 't fuck it up, bruv  to Merlin  before getting out of the way.

"Thank you  Eggsy," Merlin said, cleared his throat and took a breath. "You and Janelle a re the finest example I have seen in years of two people whose love will stand the test of years, gun fire, and what ever else the life of a Kingsman may throw at your marriage. But I have faith that you will bring each other as much happiness as you have brought m y life. The two of you have been instrumental in the best thing that is ever happened to me." He cleared h is throat again, an d then started to speak once more, this time looking right at Roxy. "Roxanne, my darling. It has been merely a week since we became a couple, and yet I can hones tly stand before everyone here and thank you for the wonderful life you have given me. I did not think that I would ever find  happiness, and when I started falling for you from afar, the prospect of peace in my life seemed even bleaker than before. And then I saw how you looked at me, and I dared to hope, and then  you kissed me and I learned how easy it is to dream, when you have the right perso n to dream with. I love you so much and I can only hope that I bring you a fraction of the happiness that you have brought me.  Thank you for being my friend, thank you for being my love, and thank you for allowing me to  make this sickeningly sweet speech in front of everyone we work with . I love you baby," he finished and then  held out a hand to her . She stepped forward and took it and before she could take another step, he was dipping her low and kissing her passionately. She thought she could hear cheering and clapping in the background, but she couldn’t be sure, no r did she particularly care.  She  kissed him back just as fiercely as he  pulled her upright once more and  the y broke apart. Sort of. They were no longer kissing, but they were trapped in a tight embrace and neither seemed to want to let go.

"I love you," she said in his ear so only he could hear her and he kissed  her chee k.

"I love you too, darling," he replied warmly and  he held out his arm to her. She took it and they went off in search for their friends and more champagne. Roxy indulged herself  briefly, as she and Merlin joined Janelle, Eggsy and Harry under the shade  of a blooming lemon tree, in committing this moment to memory.  She wanted to remember it for the rest of her life.  Sh e thought about getting everyone together for a picture, but was cut off from that train of thought by the sound of music flooding the air.  It was a slow song, and clearly one Janelle had picked because she had pulled  Eggsy  on to the makeshift dance floor before the song had even begun. Merlin looked at her expectantly and held out his hand.

"Dance with me?" He as ked and she laughed.

"Of course." And then they were in their own world, the sweet lyrics infiltrating the ir bubble just enough that they looked at each other and in the same moment said, "I think this is our song," and then laughed even harder . 

"We think alike, you and I," he said thoughtfully.

"Yes,  that's why I am so in love with you. Well, among other reasons," she said softly, and he leaned in to her to enjoy swaying gently  to their song. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, tell me what you think, feel free to suggest things :)


	16. Chapter 15- Should This Be the Last Thing I See, I Want You To Know Its Enough For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE! I'm back! It's been awhile, but I am determined to finish this, I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting for so long. 
> 
> This chapter title is from Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran

"I've got to go tonight," she said slowly, and he closed his eyes momentarily, as if trying to block out the unpleasant truth.

"I know." She reached out a hand  across the table and he took it, sipping his champagne with the other.

"It's one party, and then I'll be back home, I know its unpleasant but it will be over in a moment," she assured him.

"Believe it or not, the duration of the mission is not the problem," he said stiffly, and she withdrew her hand.

"Meaning?" She asked, trying hard to keep the frustration out of her voice.

"I would feel far more at ease sending you half way across the world if I knew you wouldn't be sleeping with a woman along the way," he said, quietly, as though he was ashamed of the words. _As well he should be_ she thought, but took a breath before responding.

"Merlin, this is the job. I quite clearly remember you promised that you would NOT be the type of man to keep me away from my work. And I took you at your word on that, did you lie to me?" She demanded, and he looked at her angrily.

"Of course not, I would not lie to you, but Roxanne, you have to understand how this looks, and how it makes me feel. I feel like I just got you, against all reason or hope, and now you're back to the fairer sex the second the opportunity arises."

"Look if that is what you think, if you think it's about me being interested in her, make Eggsy tuck and put on a damn dress, see how that works out for you! I could care less! But I can do the job better Merlin, and I'd rather get in there quickly and get it done myself before anyone gets hurt," she nearly shouted.

"I know. And I know that you are the most qualified, but please, please don't make this any harder on me than it has to be," he begged and she almost softened, but not quite. There was something else bothering her.

"I'm afraid I cannot sympathize with you making this all about you, William. I'm sorry, but you aren't even making an effort to see what it will do to me to have sex with someone that isn't you. It hurts so badly I can barely think of it, but its my job, I will do it, and hopefully when I have returned you will be more ready for us to comfort each other, instead of pretending that we aren't on the same side." When she finished her speech, she was slightly calmer, but still ready to leave so he could calm down on his own. She definitely had other things to worry about, and she was not about to cater to this behavior. To her surprise though, he looked at her with calm reassuring eyes.

"Yes. You are right. I apologize. I worry that I am going to lose you, that does not excuse my behavior, but I hope it might explain it a little. I don't want to live without you, and I don’t want either of us to go back to our old ways. I get scared, and I lash out. I'm sorry," he said and walked over to where she was standing, approaching slowly as he would approach a wounded animal. She smiled and felt the tension leave her shoulders and she leaned in to his embrace.

"I know these things are going to be tough on our relationship, but I definitely think we are worth it, as long as we have discussions instead of shouting matches, alright? If you're nervous, you have to tell me, but please don’t get upset with me for something beyond my control."

"That is more than fair. I can absolutely do that, and in turn, when you are nervous, please tell me so I don't feel so alone. I don't want you to bury how you feel to protect me, because if I feel like I'm the only one feeling so awful, it will drive me mad."

"I promise to tell you, and trust you with my heart," she said quietly and kissed him.

"Good. Now that we have made it through our first real fight, what shall we do?"

"Well, I am going to headquarters to get outfitted for my mission, would you like to be the one to show me everything you've cooked up for me before I head off to my next errand?"

"Of course, my dear. What else have you got on your plate today, you should be resting before your mission. I'll do whatever needs to be done," he said eagerly and she laughed.

"Well, my next chore can technically be done from the comfort of a bed, if you really want," she teased and he blushed.

"I'm sorry, I'll leave you to it,I'll just, uh, stay at the office, shall I?" He stammered nervously and she could not help but giggle.

"Merlin, the chore is house hunting. I'm still living in a small flat, haven't used my Kingsman housing budget yet, I was afraid to until things calmed down but seeing as it looks like I'll definitely be staying awhile, I think I will look at some things in the neighborhood."

"Oh yes, then, I would be quite happy to help you look for a place to live. After we get you in to this bullet-proof dress, that is."

"There's a bullet-proof dress involved?" She asked, eyes brightening considerably.

"There is, indeed," he whispered mischievously and he called for a car while she finished her breakfast, snuggled comfortably against his lap.

 

"Eggsy, it's Merlin," Merlin said quietly while Roxy was getting her weapons selections to match the dress.

"Yeah, I figured that much, mate. What can I do for ya? How was the first fight? How was the makeup sex?"

"I'm not even going to try to pretend I'm surprised that you know about the fight, and I'm certainly not answering that question. But I do need your help with something, if you can assist me without your usual slew of inappropriate comments, please," he asked, trying to keep his voice and frustration to a minimum.

"Right, I'll do my best. Waddaya need?"

"Would it be too soon to ask Roxy to move in with me?"

"WHAT?!" Eggsy yelped, so loudly Merlin was afraid Roxy would hear through the tiny speaker.

"Keep it down, will you? I'm just asking, if it's too soon that's fine I'll just-"

"No! No no no no it is not too soon. Ask her, tonight when she gets back. I promise you will not regret it. And neither will she."

"Great, thank you Eggsy, I'll call you once she's off, you still willing to be on call if anything goes wrong?"

"You know it bruv. I'll be more upset if you don't call me, as always."

"Right. Talk to you later." He had to hang up quickly because Roxy was walking out of the fitting room in a blue velvet gown that was barely concealing a loaded Walther.

"Well?" She asked, twirling around, showing off.

"It's lovely, darling, but do us all a favor and lose the Walther. Let's try a slimmer model, that one's obvious to a blind monkey. Throw in a dagger or two, I assume your throwing skills are still up to par?"

"Of course. Let's see what we can do, shall we?" She glanced at the weapons specialist who followed her back into the fitting room to find a solution. They were back in seconds and the dress flowed beautifully, not a bump in sight. She twirled her way onto Merlin's lap and draped her arms over him.

"Better?" She asked and he placed his hands on her waist.

"Much. And doesn't hurt that you look stunning."

"Well, that is just an added bonus, yes. And thank you, by the way."

"For what? I've done nothing, except behave like an ass and fight with my girlfriend."

"And then apologized and made me a bulletproof dress. You will stop at nothing to keep me safe. I love that about you."

"It's because I love you."

"I know. I love you too," she replied, then slithered off his lap and disappeared back in to the fitting room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment any feedback or any songs you'd like me to see base chapters on

**Author's Note:**

> comment if you wish, please be gentle :)


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